Advice

Is it typical for people with dementia to sleep a lot during the day?

Hi Jane I’m a home health aide and it’s very frustrating for the loved ones to care day in and day out. Your aides should be educated about this illness and not take it personally it’s their jobs.
I would like to suggest a magic board so your Mom is aware of her routine from the time she gets up till her aide gets her ready for bed. I’ve taken care of so many seniors and I personally had a concussion in 2011. My brain was wiped clean of being able to see what I was about to do next. I had no visual of where the park was, etc.
I helped my husbands best friend from childhood and literally had to sleep in a single bed with him so he would sleep while at our house for Christmas one year. It was very frightening for him to travel to and from DC on train but he knew he had folks up here in Pa he cared about. I wrote where he was going on his bk of fist and inside palm so he could read where he was going. It’s as if you’re caring for a child again but to be honest worse bc they have so much anxiety over what they can’t do anymore such as hold their bodily habits all the time, handle outings bc of anxiety over their inabilities such as cognitive recognizing of places, their personal habits by themselves, eating skills, etc. so it’s no wonder they would rather stay home. It’s a LOT to have to go out

My Mum is 83yrs old. She was diagnosed almost a year ago, with vascular dementia, after a bad fall. She is very fussy with eating, not fancying anything you buy, we've tried smaller meals, grazing, all sorts and it takes a lot of encouragement to get her to eat fresh veg. She recently was also diagnosed with heart failure, and her confusion since then has become much worse. She often accuses me of taking things, that are just misplaced, and doesn't like the fact she now has more carers, and they have to do the medication, as she thinks she's just taken it, and doesn't keep up. She's also on restricted fluid due to her fluid retention issues, and can be quite rude to the carers if they don't let her have a second cup of tea at mealtimes. Of course the restricted fluid also doesn't help the dementia, but does help the heart. She lives alone, and I and my sister are nearby, but I work full time and my sister part time whose husband has cancer. We do share the chores though, and speak to each other often to lighten the load. Its the hardest thing I've ever done to accept that my Mum would even think I would ever take anything, but after having some counselling I have learned not to take personally. You are all doing a great job, but do find someone to talk to, who you can just off load everything to and get another perspective. It helps to take the emotion out of it, cos you are so close to it, it hurts.

My mother is 67 yrs. Old and was diagnosed with dementia about 2 yrs ago,its devastating ,frustrating, hurtful and draining all rolled in one to watch your mother just start to deteriorate right before your eyes.I moved back 5 plus years ago to care for my mom,she remembers some things but most she don't, she gets aggressive and she wanders,and gets into things,my brothers and have worked tirelessly to care for her we just miss the old mother but we are grateful to still have her.she doesn't like to shower but she eats well.the disease is so evil and we wished it never existed,my grandmother had it,my mom's mother...so so hard to watch and feel helpless at times,prayers is all we can do.we had to put her in a facility because it became unbearable. We love our mother do much and just wished things were different 😢

my mum who has just turned 72, was diagnosed in November 2020 and sleeps all the day, keeps everyone awake at night, She has had sleeping tablets prescribed, but these are not having any effect on her. When she is awake, she doesn't want to do anything. She doesn't want to have showers or baths, we have tried on numerous occasions. My mum also says she wants to go home and see her mum and dad who died over 20 years ago, and to make matters worse my dad is having chemotherapy and on top of this Im trying to work from home.

In many ways, I'm lucky. My 101 year old mother, who lives with us, sleeps through the night, isn't aggressive, doesn't wander, and has a diminished appetite, but does eat. On the other hand, she resists showers, no matter how warm I get the bathroom and set up the walk-in shower for comfort and safety. She does sleep through the night plus enough other hours daily to equal close to 18 hours out of every 24. And she is paranoid about people coming into the house and doing her harm, especially at night.

My question is...why do people with dementia clearly suffer diminished cognitive skills after a fall, even if a CAT scan of their head shows no damage? This happened to my mother and to an elderly friend, so I know it is connected somehow. It can't be the trauma of the memory of the fall, because my mother has no memory of it. I can't find the answer online, so I'm turning to fellow caregivers.

Reading this thread has brought tears to my eyes but reminds me that it’s okay to be frustrated and upset sometimes even though you are not the one with dementia. I am 27 and I take care of my grandmother who is 91. My father died when I was 15 and I am her last blood relative. Its hard to explain to others how mentally exhausting it is for the carer of this disease. My grandma normally sleeps most of the day but has increasingly become more manic at night. Saying she is nauseous and I need to call 911, she has gone to the doctor and they have said it is anxiety. But it has literally been every single night- a complete mental breakdown. She was prescribe Xanax but it hasn’t done much for her. I know it’s her brain deteriorating and sending her mixed signals and I feel so bad for her because I know her symptoms are real, but I can’t even explain to her why she feels the way she feels. Lately she doesn’t eat very much, burps a lot and complains of indigestion. She can barely walk now and she cannot get herself out of the bed anymore (I know I’m lucky she wasn’t wheelchair bound already). Most of these stories are about husbands or wives and it’s not often for a grandchild to be taking care of their grandparent, but I know she is so grateful to not be in a care facility. It’s hard enough seeing her change and fade away and I could not imagine how it would be if it was my husband. I feel she is nearing the end and I just want her to be comfortable, safe and warm in my home; not in a hospital.

My husband was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia the beginning of last year. He is 72 years old. He is now sleeping more and more. His appetite is not there anymore. I get him to eat by eating something with him. He usually takes just a few bites. He has a hard time remembering how to do simple things like work the TV remote or his flip phone. He tries to wash dishes for me or help with washing the clothes but he can never remember where to put the dishes or how to sort and fold clothes. He doesnt call anyone unless I dial it for him. I currently have my step son living with us, so he is there when I am working. Once he decides to move out, I will most likely have to quit work to care for my husband full time. I see this happening very soon

Such a cruel disease. It’s a thief and robs us everything. I wish I could relate and be as caring as so many others but it’s just exhausting. My wife is 67, clueless about most everything. She’s always delusional, talking to pictures , the tv s and people in her imagination. Our meals are now in silence as there is no sense in trying to communicate. She wanders around the house all day just moving things around. She needs to be watched constantly as she’ll run bathtubs to overflow and will not be aware and doesn’t care. While she still recognizes her immediate family, she only recognizes some neighbors. I take her to a senior center a few days a week mostly for a break for me even though she is not aware we’re headed there. While many tell me I should be thankful that she doesn’t display anger and is quite content most of the time, I must admit that this is bringing less and less consolation as being totally honest, I’ve already lost her and feel no joy in still having her around. It’s been progressing for about 5 years and have planned my way into poverty and Medicaid support in the next year or so when I’ll have spent all that I had saved now that I am forced to retire to care for her. Family is scattered around the country and her friends and family have pretty much disappeared. As I started this, I will end... this is a cruel disease, a thief and robs us of everything.
I am only posting this as a need to vent.

Can someone help me please? My grandma has been hospitalized with dementia, but it has gotten so bad over the past few weeks. A month ago we were having normal conversations and now she’s talking to people that aren’t there, roaming around all night and tries to leave the house. I don’t know what to do as the medical system has provided no help or answers. She just got sent back tonight and all tests have come back normal/no infections. She also gets angry very quickly and can start crying for no reason. Please any advice would be appreciated. It’s like she’s a totally different person.

My mom will be 99 this year and she has vascular dementia. She can wake Monday thru Friday but she naps long period of times. She seems to sleep almost continuously through the week end. If she has a Dr appointment or we go visit my daughter she can get up. This is not often due to Covid. When she sees her GP all her test are good.

I’m very thankful to find this blog. My husband is recovering from covid. He is 85 and was in the hospital Jan. 19- Jan 22.
He has been sick since Jan. 1. He has had other health problems in the past, but seems to have dementia the last few weeks . Sleeps all day and night. This blog has helped me so much to understand the facets of dementia. This happened so quickly. And I am a senior caregiver so now I am his.
Thank you for all the comments. Comforting to know that so many of us are in the same boat.
Linda

My husband is 76 years old. He is suffering from dementia and is sleeping a tremendous amount. He has been drinking a lot more , bounding from one wall to another one.

Is he in the final 1-3 months of his life?

my Uncle has dementia. He sleeps 22 hours out of a day. He's ambulatory but does little to participate in life. My Aunt does all chores herself. He will watch her bring in all groceries. She'll tell him to watch her come in just in case she falls. He wouldn't know to call 911 if that did happen. He eats fine. Sneaks foods when her back is turned. If she hides it, he finds it. He has made the toilet super dirty. Usually 3 times before lunch. He ignores anyone who approaches him to bathe. It takes alot of persuading to get him in the shower. All of this leads to poor life quality for my Aunt. She gets so depressed. Very lonely. I am convinced he doesn't have to sleep this much because when his daughters come home he finds all this extra energy he didn't have. He talks, and is so alert! Now if sleeping is all part of this condition, how can he control his cognitive ability when family arrives??

I had to move back to California to look after my mother she now don't know me and she is sleeping a lot up for awhile during the night but not long she sometimes has problems in the restroom sometimes she my eat are she will play with her food and now she is just falling down every once in awhile when she tries to walk which she still can but do to much she will say she is going to fall I just don't understand what stage she is in she just turned 79 she kept it a secret that she had a problem her doctor made her being me with her looking back on things with her she had it when she was 71 it was very mild someone please help me understand where she is on stages

Greetings from Massachusetts, USA—
I stumbled on this blog and read many of the recent posts. My (Scottish) grandmother had Alzheimer’s and slept most of her last 10 years of life til age 96. Sadly, I felt it was far too long because she was miserable when she was awake, and quality of life was terrible for her. (I lived next door to her) Her last few years were in a nursing home which was awful. That was 14 years ago. —My current reason for doing an online research of “Alzheimer’s & sleeping” is because just before the Covid lockdown, I brought my aunt (86) to live w/me for a few months. It was time for her to leave a costly assisted living facility she’d been in for 6 years. She needed far more help anyway. Due to the pandemic she’s still with me. She sleeps ALOT & has for years now. Many of your comments resonate. I don’t know if I’m running a nursing home or a hospice! She stays in bed mainly (an adjustable bed), has little to no interest in TV, and rarely talks. She doesn’t strike up conversation and it’s exhausting for me to try to maintain a conversation. She walks downstairs to eat meals in the dining room at times but eats very little and is never hungry. At this point her main diet is Ensure protein drinks which her doctor recommended and told me she can survive on that alone. She is very much like her mother was, but it started at an earlier age. Today for example, she’s been sleeping since 2 nights ago, but does toilet on her own, and has drank a few bottles of Ensure both days. I can’t imagine going on like this for even another year. But I realize it’s possible. I feel like I’m still waiting for my real life to begin. Best wishes to all of you.