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My mum had vascular dementia and my husband had Alzheimers’. My mum lived 5 years after diagnosis and my husband lived 15 years after diagnosis. The both lived at home with me. We were so lucky to have the best of home carers. This allowed me to continue working for as long as I could and after I retired the wonderful carers allowed us to do be able to do so many things together. My biggest support during my time living with dementia in my life was the Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Support Forum. https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/ The most wonderful thing in our lives was our memories choir. My husband attended this with me until the week before he died. I’m now a volunteer with the choir as I’m trying to give back for the amazing support and joy we both got from this choir. The photo is my mum and my lovely husband - he used to call her his ‘wee pal’. 😍

My husband is 90. I am 78. For many years he's been ",poorly^ with many visits to hospital, then gp and hospital appointments. 3 years ago, he.had.end of life care at home then was diagnosed with alzeimers and vascular dementia. My health is declining and although gp and social services have tried to help (declined by husband) I'm left to "get on with it". I am so unhappy I have to give up my life to care for someone who doesn't want to be cared for.

I have been an unpaid carer whilst having a job , a husband and two children since 2015, first for my father and now my Uncle both were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and my Uncle also has Vascular dementia. It is a heartbreaking, confusing, fustrating and terrifying disease for them. For the carers and family it is a roller coaster of emotions, and the guilt is horrendous. The awful decisions you have to make, more so in the latter stages. I cant describe how bad they are, imagine having to make that dreaded decision, when you can no longer keep them safe in their own home, or you cannot cope with their needs anymore. Which is the best care home for them, will they be kind, understanding, patient with them. Will they reassure them when they are frightened and don't know where they are or who these strangers are. My brother and I had to make these decisions in lock down. We experienced every emotion, not being able to visit my father or get to know and build a relationship with the staff.
It's now that time again for my Uncle he has been in hospital since June because of numerous falls the latest one he got out of the house and managed to cross a main road and fell in a side street. He could have been killed !. We had to make that dreaded decision to place him in a care home, since then we have been waiting for a place to become available. When he first went in he needed two staff to help him with all his needs, especially walking as he has had loads of falls. I have just learned, that we have waited so long because the care homes have been rejecting him, because he needs two members of staff to help him. He is quiet ,well behaved, he likes a laugh and joke with the nursing staff who all say he is a gentleman.The hospital have now decided he only needs one member of staff so the search begins or so i thought. We haven't heard anything off the Social Worker.
Where do we begin to decide which home is best for him. ??When the care homes can pick and choose who they want to care for apparently, it seems to be judged on their needs and behaviour. Something they have no control over.
I think that Care homes need to be more regulated, have more dedicated trained staff who are passionate about their job. Sorry to rant but it's disgusting the way we treat out elderly in this country.

After having symptoms for the best part of 12 months, in 2021 my dad, Martin was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers disease at the age of 60. Unfortunately due to huge waiting lists for NHS memory clinic appointments the process to get a diagnosis had to be done privately. As the years have gone by, and due to my dad also having type 1 diabetes, We have noticed a real decline in his cognitive abilities, he is now unable to carry out basic tasks without guidance and reassurance. My mom is his carer through thick and thin she experiences it all, from giving him his medication to washing and dressing him. My dad's diagnosis has deeply impacted my mom's life. Luckily she has myself and my sister to help support her emotionally and where possible we always step in and help look after him where needed.

I wish that the government could prioritise support to carers by offering more services of emotional support aswell as more realistic financial support to enable carers to not have to worry about 'paying the bills' on top of a mountain of worries they already have for person they are caring for.
Adult social services are also overloaded so unfortunately my dad and our family are yet to get the support that he so desperately requires.

He will always be our funny, sensitive, loyal caring dad. We spend many a day reminiscing about the good times we've all had together as a family. We will treasure those memory's forever.

Ray, my husband, died 6 years ago; in a care home;where he been a resident for the last 5 years of his life. I will always remember the wonderful carers; their kindness, love and compassion, made it a second home for me and so many others. Residents relatives and carers became a large family; supporting each other; assisting at mealtimes; walking around the lovely gardens with our loved ones;sharing meals at the local pub ! Nothing was too much trouble for the carers; one carer brought in her old iPad for Ray after downloading his favourite songs and pictures on it. When he was going off his feet and I brought in a private physiotherapist; they said " no need; we will walk him every day" and they were as good as their word. Whatever time of the day I arrived, I would be sure of a cup of tea and biscuits; at mealtimes I was always welcome to join in. I felt very strongly that dementia brought out the kindest and most loving responses from people and carers. None of us relatives, who were there every day, (sometimes spending half the day !), ever felt that our loved one had forgotten us . I had the most memorable days out and weekends away with Ray; taking carers with us;included weekends in the Cotswolds and his favourite Lake District (picture with his grandson)