Share your story

I’ve been with my husband for 40 years although we only got married 5 years ago. Two years ago my husband Peter was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and my amazing and wonderful husband sadly changed but only after the first year. It’s particularly sad because my husband’s daughter died in her sleep 10 years ago, leaving a husband and two young sons. She was 45. Such a shock. Then 9 years ago my eldest Son Lee was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer and lived for 9 months after diagnosis leaving a beloved wife , 2 step daughters and a 7 year old Son, he was 45. 6 years ago my younger Son Mark suffered a cardiac arrest in the night whilst he was staying with us he was just 47!!! We felt that losing 3 adult children was a massive shock but to now be losing my husband seems cruelly unfair.?
Since 26 July this year my husband Peter has had to go into a care home when he became doubly incontinent and I just couldn’t cope with him anymore. So very sad. I go in to see him every day and spend anything from 2-6 hours with him. Love so much xxx

From experiencing quite a deprived childhood and not achieving much at school, Dave, from Torquay, had worked his way up to the position of corporal during 10 years in the Army before later becoming an armed officer in the Ministry of Defence Police.
Dave was proud of the career he had carved out for himself, but things began to change when he was approaching his 16th year in the MoD; his memory started to show a noticeable decline.
He just could not retain the information in his brain to pass the refresher gun course to remain armed, something he had managed to do with relative ease previously.
Dave was initially diagnosed as having a mild cognitive impairment (MCI) in 2016.
Carrying a gun was a significant part of his role, and as he could just not pass the course to continue to do so, at the age of 55 - after 20 years of service - Dave was retired by the MoD on the grounds of ill health.
“This was a devastating blow for my dad. He loved that job and his rise up to it,” said Dave’s eldest son, Dean.
“Unfortunately it was only the start of the setbacks for him and it was difficult for us to see what unfolded.”
Dave attempted alternative employment, such as being a refuse collector and a school caretaker, but the problems with his short-term memory impacted his ability to perform these roles successfully.
The MCI progressed to Alzheimer’s disease, although this was clear some time before his official diagnosis in May 2023.
“Sometimes people have the perception that Alzheimer’s is just a case of consistently forgetting things. It is far more than that, certainly as the time you’re living with it goes on. It is a very cruel disease that sees you become a shadow of your former self, and the impact on those close to them watching it happen is huge,” added Dean.
The disease causes the brain to shrink and in the middle stages it can also, among other factors, make a person become more agitated; experience paranoia and depression, including losing interest in previous hobbies; lack the confidence and ability to perform simple tasks; exclude themselves socially. All of these and more were witnessed during his decline in health.
“As things got worse - including displaying hallucinations which then led to aggressive behaviour - he had to be cared for away from the family home, and in autumn last year, his speech became so affected by the disease that he became unable to string more than a couple of words together,” reflected Dean.
“This is certainly one of the things I found the hardest to witness.
“Everyone who knew my dad would have been aware of how sociable he was - he would talk to pretty much anyone.
“He was always up for a laugh and something of a practical joker.
“So it was tough to see that he couldn’t communicate effectively anymore.”
Dave was always known to be physically fit as well, but eventually the disease made him become less mobile and unsteady on his feet.
He required personal care, much to his frustration as someone who had been very independent, and in the end lost the ability to swallow. Dave passed away on 22nd August 2024 at the age of 62.
He was a passionate football fan and loved going to watch hometown club Torquay United, so a group of his family and friends, including Dean and grandson Tyler, are coming together to sponsor a match in his memory at the end of this year. In doing so, they are hoping to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Society.
As part of the club’s match sponsorship package, sponsors receive a signed Torquay home shirt. Dean and the rest of his group are happy to give this to the person who makes the highest single donation to the Alzheimer’s Society via a fundraising page they have set up.

My husband Roy has Alzheimer’s he was diagnosed in June 2017 but we think he had it a couple of years before ,we have 2 daughters and they kept telling me that dad wasn’t right but he wouldn’t go to the doctors, I finally took him when he lost me in the airport twice that was scary he had all the test done, then were told the news, that we all treaded. Roy is in a care home now he’s been there 1 year i still think he knows me but sometimes he is very distant just looking in to space. We have been married for 55years and I miss him terribly, we had so much plans when we retired and I wouldn’t wish the disease on my worse enemy he’s missing so much on all our lives when he shud be enjoying it with our family. This is my husband Roy and me Lynne.

Dementia has impacted on my life more than once…my Father in the 80s. My mother in law we all cared for 13 years. Government and charities and their boards,and managers should know it takes many things to look after people and carers when dementia strikes. Please give time to listen and learn from previous mistakes in communities from the people who are actually involved in the daily,weekly,caregiving,and volunteer,,family. Health workers are needed 100 fold in this area to take the load from hospital general nursing. Train better paid carers for home care.
All this is what myself and my families had to constantly fight for or sometimes against. Clubs that once supported sufferers an families have disappeared when We’re told nothing of why money is short.
Families,and carers need support that is 100% still true today in 2024

I have been looking after my mama since I got her diagnosed at 81. She is now 97 years young & has always been taken care of by our family. I was looking after her part time when my wonderful Pops was alive. We lost out Pops 3 years ago now - that was when I become my Mama's full-time carer. It's an incredibly hard role but it is a total pleasure & privilege considering how well our Mama looked after myself & my brother throughout out childhood. We, as a family, always promised our Mama that she would never be placed in a care home - we believe she is still with us due to the love & respect we show her every day.