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Dementia takes the life of loved ones from you but leaves their body to wither and for family to witness the heartbreak in the decline of the person they once were....
I was diagnosed about two or three years ago with "mixed Dementia". My GP said it would be a good idea to socialise to maintain my cognitive ability. I went to a quiz...
My Nan began showing signs of vascular dementia in...
I am a now retired SRN , my mother passed away 7 years ago after suffering Alzheimer’s for the previous 8 years,
It took various observations from various...
My husband developed Alzheimer’s in2020z.. He became more and more forgetful and became obsessed with our finances. Hated me making decisions and did not recognise...
Both my mother and elder sister had dementia before they passed away. My mother was 87 years old and my sister was 67 when they passed. From a family of five children,...
My husband has had altzhiemers for at least 6 years but the last 6 months has been awful he has become very aggressive which is totally not his character he no longer...
I wanted to visit family in the US with my husband who has Alzheimer’s. We had organised the trip and then I looked for travel insurance. Because of the Alzheimer s...
You don't realise at first what is happening, and it's easy to become exasperated when the person you've loved and lived with for fifty years says or does something...
I nursed my lovely wife for15 years with...
My father was diagnosed with early onset of dementia...
I lost my mum Evelyn to vascular dementia. She was 86 and I was 60 so for her not to recognise me for the last 3 years of her life was devastating for me and our...
Dementia takes the life of loved ones from you but leaves their body to wither and for family to witness the heartbreak in the decline of the person they once were.
In the past 5 years, I have lost my Wife's beautiful Mother, our kids loving Gran to dementia. My Brother in 2023 and now my Eldest Brother in 2024. My wonderful sister also has the this horrible disease with no hope of reversing her journey.
Watching family members looking after them, providing unconditional love and affection to them is so sad but also uplifting. What keeps them going is knowing that those they are looking after would have done the exact same for them without questioning why.
It brings so many different feelings. Love, pity, anger, frustration, responsibility, compassion, tenderness and yet dementia has none of these feelings. It treats nobody any differently. it takes it time but always delivers the same result.
Is there a positive?
Well, it also brings out the very best in people, a side they maybe thought they did not have. That care for someone who needs it.
In the last 10 years, my family have publicly dug into reserves of kindness and love that they probably thought they would never show. A wonderful counter to this horrible disease.
In the past 5 years, I have lost my Wife's beautiful Mother, our kids loving Gran to dementia. My Brother in 2023 and now my Eldest Brother in 2024. My wonderful sister also has the this horrible disease with no hope of reversing her journey.
Watching family members looking after them, providing unconditional love and affection to them is so sad but also uplifting. What keeps them going is knowing that those they are looking after would have done the exact same for them without questioning why.
It brings so many different feelings. Love, pity, anger, frustration, responsibility, compassion, tenderness and yet dementia has none of these feelings. It treats nobody any differently. it takes it time but always delivers the same result.
Is there a positive?
Well, it also brings out the very best in people, a side they maybe thought they did not have. That care for someone who needs it.
In the last 10 years, my family have publicly dug into reserves of kindness and love that they probably thought they would never show. A wonderful counter to this horrible disease.
Brian
I was diagnosed about two or three years ago with "mixed Dementia". My GP said it would be a good idea to socialise to maintain my cognitive ability. I went to a quiz and the first question was about if Jesus was born in a Premier Inn. I have dementia but I am not stupid. People are kind but at a music group they played "Daisy , Daisy" and "Underneath the Arches" when I expected The Rolling Stones or Blondie. I have been patted on the head for knowing simple things but I forget to have my breakfast and I can't cook because I leave the gas on. I have a one year driving licence and "passed my assessment with flying colours but sometimes people talk about me as if I am not there... but I am!
Ciaran
My Nan began showing signs of vascular dementia in 2018 but wasn’t diagnosed until 2020. It started with small moments of forgetfulness and confusion. She stopped driving after losing her way in the town she had known for 80 years. By last year, she had deteriorated rapidly. She no longer remembered her husband, who passed 17 years ago, or that she had children and grandchildren. Her mobility worsened, forcing her to shuffle around the house, holding onto furniture. Her legs and feet swelled with pain, requiring weekly massages.
We worried constantly as she would sometimes wander outside without her walking stick. My Nan struggled with her confusion, often expressing how she needed “a new brain.” Everyday tasks exhausted her. On September 18th, 2024, my Nan’s heart finally gave out from the relentless toll of dementia.
We’ve grieved for her twice—once as she lost herself, and again when she passed. Dementia stole her memories, mobility, and spirit. It left us mourning the vibrant, loving woman she once was. Seeing her confusion and pain was devastating, and watching her fade into a shadow of herself was a helpless agony. Dementia is relentless; it leaves no good days, no survivors. My Nanny Daphne, was the sunshine in our lives, and dementia took her from us, piece by piece, until the very end. Our lives will never be the same.
We worried constantly as she would sometimes wander outside without her walking stick. My Nan struggled with her confusion, often expressing how she needed “a new brain.” Everyday tasks exhausted her. On September 18th, 2024, my Nan’s heart finally gave out from the relentless toll of dementia.
We’ve grieved for her twice—once as she lost herself, and again when she passed. Dementia stole her memories, mobility, and spirit. It left us mourning the vibrant, loving woman she once was. Seeing her confusion and pain was devastating, and watching her fade into a shadow of herself was a helpless agony. Dementia is relentless; it leaves no good days, no survivors. My Nanny Daphne, was the sunshine in our lives, and dementia took her from us, piece by piece, until the very end. Our lives will never be the same.
Shelby
I am a now retired SRN , my mother passed away 7 years ago after suffering Alzheimer’s for the previous 8 years,
It took various observations from various independent sources to ask questions re possible diagnosis
It’s still a shock to hear Alzheimer’s as a diagnosis although with my own experience I had thought this a strong possibility
I could not return to work as my mother initially had a cataract in her only good eye …
Again using my experience and knowledge I sourced agencies and support, each and every stage proved to be a struggle and at times a fight for , My mother lived a good independent life about 45 mins away until the eyesight problem followed by the Alzheimer’s ..
Many times I felt individuals both medically and socially only wanted to do the bare minimum. But they all have/had mothers how would they want them to be treated and cared for??
My mother’s main “symptom “was anxiety, hence daily if not more ,things had to be repeated; telephone calls on average 10-12 daily the record was 16?!
Sheltered accommodation was far better than any nursing home in our area , until one fall was the last fall… leading to one last hospital stay, unfortunately the care was not good enough
Butterfly at head of bed denotes dementia but Mums teeth were left in a pot and her glasses by the side of the bed….I could go on and on with individual events, it wears the carer/daughter out and in my case totally as a nurse so upset and angry at the lack of care and respect ! It should not be Social Care , we are NHS from birth to death
Separating causes so much disjointed care and plans and lack of communication plus missing documents and care plans.
In all Alzheimer’s has a profound impact on all members of the family
Your own family gets put on the back burner
You may be the only member of the family juggling all that comes your way which amounts to feeding washing clothing plus the financial aspects eg power of attorney
Finally I wish we all and the government bring to the table positive changes to lessen the suffering and misery for both the effected and affected , I do worry for the future
It took various observations from various independent sources to ask questions re possible diagnosis
It’s still a shock to hear Alzheimer’s as a diagnosis although with my own experience I had thought this a strong possibility
I could not return to work as my mother initially had a cataract in her only good eye …
Again using my experience and knowledge I sourced agencies and support, each and every stage proved to be a struggle and at times a fight for , My mother lived a good independent life about 45 mins away until the eyesight problem followed by the Alzheimer’s ..
Many times I felt individuals both medically and socially only wanted to do the bare minimum. But they all have/had mothers how would they want them to be treated and cared for??
My mother’s main “symptom “was anxiety, hence daily if not more ,things had to be repeated; telephone calls on average 10-12 daily the record was 16?!
Sheltered accommodation was far better than any nursing home in our area , until one fall was the last fall… leading to one last hospital stay, unfortunately the care was not good enough
Butterfly at head of bed denotes dementia but Mums teeth were left in a pot and her glasses by the side of the bed….I could go on and on with individual events, it wears the carer/daughter out and in my case totally as a nurse so upset and angry at the lack of care and respect ! It should not be Social Care , we are NHS from birth to death
Separating causes so much disjointed care and plans and lack of communication plus missing documents and care plans.
In all Alzheimer’s has a profound impact on all members of the family
Your own family gets put on the back burner
You may be the only member of the family juggling all that comes your way which amounts to feeding washing clothing plus the financial aspects eg power of attorney
Finally I wish we all and the government bring to the table positive changes to lessen the suffering and misery for both the effected and affected , I do worry for the future
Anne
My husband developed Alzheimer’s in2020z.. He became more and more forgetful and became obsessed with our finances. Hated me making decisions and did not recognise me as his wife after 67 years.. asked me to phone Gina asking when she would come home.. He went into a home but fell and broke his hip. Finally he died on 12.12.2023.
Georgina
Both my mother and elder sister had dementia before they passed away. My mother was 87 years old and my sister was 67 when they passed. From a family of five children, myself being the youngest son, I was very close to both my mother and sister and always looked upon as a 'favourite'. It was devastating to see the degeneration of both of them and especially when my mother said to me, "Why do you keep calling me Mum?" My sister, always a talkative person, lost the power to speak towards the end of her life. It was so sad to see two special people in my life lose their personality in such a tragic manner.
Philip
My husband has had altzhiemers for at least 6 years but the last 6 months has been awful he has become very aggressive which is totally not his character he no longer knows us and is in a home due to the aggression his younger sister has it to as did his mother it is the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with as my husband is here but not here anymore
Susan
I wanted to visit family in the US with my husband who has Alzheimer’s. We had organised the trip and then I looked for travel insurance. Because of the Alzheimer s the price was sky high. Why ? I look after him and care for him and would do on our trip. It seems so unfair. We cannot go to what would have been a lovely experience.
Brenda
You don't realise at first what is happening, and it's easy to become exasperated when the person you've loved and lived with for fifty years says or does something out of character, like leaving you to wait because he's forgotten to pick you up or asking you if you'd like milk in your tea when you've drunk milkless tea for many years . As the condition worsens, you may find yourself reminding him of his grandchildren's names, cleaning up after he's had an accident in the bathroom or bedroom, having to guide him to bed - so much of life is different.
I nursed my lovely wife for15 years with dementia,always reluctantly the conclusion but however much you know the end is still immensely devastating, I have written a story of our life together and is awaiting print which will allow me to let others know of the finality of the disease
My father was diagnosed with early onset of dementia in his early 50s, he passed away 6 year's ago! I found out that his dementia is familial...I've had quite a few head injuries over the years and am in my 40s and struggling with my memory and I'm worried that I might be like my father.
I lost my mum Evelyn to vascular dementia. She was 86 and I was 60 so for her not to recognise me for the last 3 years of her life was devastating for me and our family. The only time I saw a glimpse of her was when I played Frankie Laine songs and she would smile and attempt to smile. I was with her when she died and I could swear that she knew I was there but I will never really know. Its a situation you would never wish on any family to see a loved one dissappear before your eyes but you have to be strong and support them all you can even when it brakes your heart ❤️ q
Share your story
Help bring dementia out from behind closed doors and tell us, what is your reality of dementia?