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I have ‘lost ‘ two of the people closest to me in my life, my husband and my mother who are both currently disappearing before my very eyes .
The two people I turned to for advice or help , now need me to help them and take big decisions that I would give anything to be able to ask their opinions on
It’s often lonely , worrying and hard , wondering how on earth I can find what is needed inside me to keep going
It’s the worst thing we’ve had to face as a family and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy

My husband Colin has frontal lobe Dementia he was diagnosed 5yrs ago this affects initiative emotion mainly & you wouldn't know he was affected straight away .he was always doing jobs around house could mend anything or adapt it for use ,this coupled with multiple hip replacements has made his life extremely isolated & limited. Its the most devastating illness I have worked in care but it's so life changing & heartbreaking to see that has no timescale that's the worst aspect .This living bereavement is like walking in the dark as Colins thinking problem solving abilitys are still there but not in action at all .This 5yrs has been the most difficult of our lives because the future is NOW but quality of life very limited ,I know compared to some wer more fortunate but the affect on Colin & i his wife & carer isn't possible to describe the depth of grief beyond anything you can imagine .There are so many suffering people in the country & world who will need a cure & unless you are financially secure even more devastating as there's little respite care unless you are wealthy to be had regularly enough .There are some wonderful people & volunteers who run 1 memory cafe in our area it's amazing but we need much ,more support locally .The future will be a major problem without major changes to our social care .its a lonely experience of which everyone knows something about but living it is a journey of undefinable loss & tragedy ,Living with Dementia no words can describe it must be a priority urgently but will take a lot of time carers familys suffer tremendously as well as person affected .Governments please LiSTEN URGENTLY

My dad William had dementia. It started when he was about 88. He became forgetful and a little eccentric. He moved in assisted living and had a new lease of life. He was a member of the social committee and played the piano at social nights. As time went on it became more difficult for him to do the everyday things like work the tv or remember his meds.
Eventually he moved into a care home and straight away his health dipped. It was like we lost him to another world. Me and my siblings struggled to come to terms with it. I had a shift in the way I spoke with him. I joined him in his world. This helped to calm him down and have a better relationship with him. He died at 92 of kidney failure.

My mother whose first name was Mary spent her last five years with dementia . She knew her family by sight but could not recall their names , she entered a silent world of her own. At her
funeral the kindly vicar who conducted the service kept referring to her as Charlotte (her second
name) a name she never used. I might add her sister whose name was Charlotte was in the
congregation . After the service I asked the vicar why he had used the name Charlotte when
referring to my mother his reply was the undertaker gave him the information . All this happened 25 years ago - and it galls me still. I have no doubt the Good Lord knew who the vicar was referring to even if the lo*** undertaker was uncaring in the matter.

My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia and Alzheimer’s in 2014. He passed away in 2022, a few months before our 55th wedding anniversary. Over those eight years I lost him bit by bit, first it was short term memory, then inability to do routine things like washing and dressing. In his last four years I had to keep the outer doors locked as he would try to go looking for his mother, who had died when he was 19. I had to hide things as he could harm himself, like drinking a bottle of mouthwash and eating the pot pourri. But the last two years saw a change in personality. He became verbally and physically abusive- a completely different person. So sad to see. Eventually, after several falls, he ended up in hospital and then went into a dementia home for a few weeks until he passed away.

My wife Dorothy for 50 years was diagnosed in 2020 with Vascular Dementia , i had a carer come in the mornings to wash and dress her, rest of the time i cared for her but i must admit with a heavy heart i did not find it easy, 2023 Dorothy went into full time care, to be honest i just could not cope anymore, Dorothy settled from day one, i visit regular and she still knows me, but she has no idea where she is , there is now very little communication between us and it hurts me greatly to see her like that now, i say to myself many a time what on earth has she done to deserve this awful illness, my heart goes out to everyone on this horrible illness.

I consider my self as a lucky sod living with a mild form of Dementia (mild cognitive impairment ) I have had two diagnosis one in the pandemic of Alzheimer's. I was coping well I thought I was.But the black clouds were gathering I had abreak down and spent 5 and1/2 weeks I a mental health ward.Then the diagnosis was change to MCI