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In 1959 I moved to Shrewsbury and, my Vicar suggested I would make a good Mental Nurse. I went for an interview, was given a guide round some of the wards: was...
My wonderful husband Paul, was eventually diagnosed...
Dementia is one of the cruelest diseases anyone can...
I can give you a link to the story that came out in...
My Uncle and Aunt have both been diagnosed with different forms of dementia since 2023. But before that my uncle used to leave their flat and go walking, many times my...
Dear me and my lovely partner of18 years Karen is59...
My mum is 91 years old she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2018; like others have shared, we repeatedly took her to the GP each time she passed the GPCOG , although...
My wife Barbara ann Roberts died from it on the 7th...
My beautiful Dad he’s 18 nearly 81 diagnosed the...
My mum died over six years ago with alzheimers she...
I look after my partner been together 21 yrs, his age is 67. 2 yrs ago alan started forgetting where he had put his car keys, and when he was cooking forgetting to...
My Wife has Alzheimer’s disease. Diagnosed in 2014, but apparent to me for about 4 years before diagnoses. Christine never accepted the diagnosis. She had a seizure...
In 1959 I moved to Shrewsbury and, my Vicar suggested I would make a good Mental Nurse. I went for an interview, was given a guide round some of the wards: was accepted and started as a student the next day. As it can be imagined hospital care was "criminal" to what it is now. The wards had up to 120 (YES) with little or no physical, emotional care, other than occasional visits to outdoor areas which were fenced off, so the patients just walked round and round and round.
E.C.T. was the chosen treatment for some & the clinics wld. treat dozens at a time. Afterwards they were taken to the main hall and sat numbly on chairs until they were 'herded' back to their wards. On one occasion I learned of a smaller, cosier room nearby & took & took them in there & arranged with the kitchen to bring tea & biscuits. When this was discovered they were taken back to the hall & the refreshments were cancelled.
A night they were in wards of, maybe 60 at a time. When I was on night duty I would look down through the barred windows & imagine I was a patient there.
I passed my Mental Health exam first time & then did my General training in Clatterbridge Hosp. Wirral. Emigrated to Canada and worked in a Psyche Hosp. there, which was almost as bad. After returning to the U.K. I returned to psyche nursing, which I found VERY improved in every way.
I joined the Alzheimers Society in Chester, attending the initial meeting held in public, when the first Branch was begun, which must have been about 1983, eventually holding various committee member roles.
I continued my nursing career as an Agency Nurse 25 years ago..
The branch has , subsequently been downgraded as what it does. From having a strong committee who did fundraising, organising Day Care, outings etc. we are now only a Friendship Group, who meet monthly for a chat and lunch, the latest of which is tomorrow 14th Oct., which is my 85th birthday.
E.C.T. was the chosen treatment for some & the clinics wld. treat dozens at a time. Afterwards they were taken to the main hall and sat numbly on chairs until they were 'herded' back to their wards. On one occasion I learned of a smaller, cosier room nearby & took & took them in there & arranged with the kitchen to bring tea & biscuits. When this was discovered they were taken back to the hall & the refreshments were cancelled.
A night they were in wards of, maybe 60 at a time. When I was on night duty I would look down through the barred windows & imagine I was a patient there.
I passed my Mental Health exam first time & then did my General training in Clatterbridge Hosp. Wirral. Emigrated to Canada and worked in a Psyche Hosp. there, which was almost as bad. After returning to the U.K. I returned to psyche nursing, which I found VERY improved in every way.
I joined the Alzheimers Society in Chester, attending the initial meeting held in public, when the first Branch was begun, which must have been about 1983, eventually holding various committee member roles.
I continued my nursing career as an Agency Nurse 25 years ago..
The branch has , subsequently been downgraded as what it does. From having a strong committee who did fundraising, organising Day Care, outings etc. we are now only a Friendship Group, who meet monthly for a chat and lunch, the latest of which is tomorrow 14th Oct., which is my 85th birthday.
Miss Susan
My wonderful husband Paul, was eventually diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2019, aged 69. This disease has stolen him from me, our family and friends. He was a man of many talents, a superstar in amateur dramatics, who won countless awards. He became a wanderer, getting lost too many times. I had to hide all our keys. Alzheimers isn't just loss of memory. It takes everything away. He no longer knows my name, or who I am, or our 3 sons, their partners & 4 grandchildren.. We've all lost the person he was. He's in a wonderful care home, as I couldn't look, after him any longer on my own. I use our savings to cover the cost, even though I have support from the council. I'd like the government to provide more help with the cost of care for all those with dementia and to fund research into this cruel heartbreaking disease which has taken my soul mate and left me so sad as I watch him slowly disappear.
MONICA
Dementia is one of the cruelest diseases anyone can get. My beautiful mum was diagnosed in 2017 and like the advert says, it is the long goodbye, you watch her die piece by piece and to watch your father cry / breakdown when my kind hearted Mum says something cruel is heartbreaking. Unfortunately Mum got BPSD with her Alzheimer's which made her violent and aggressive, she tried to escape her beautiful home thinking my Dad had murdered her husband, she banged on the bedroom window, screaming for help, not believing she was with the safest people that she could be with. I think most people think Dementia is forgetting things and people, and I thought that would be hardest thing to live with when my Mum didn't know me anymore but it wasn't ! Before Mum got taken into hospital during lockdown, she said the most vile evil things a daughter could hear, I will never forget it, even though I know it wasn't my mum talking, it was heart shattering and something I will never forget. ( Not a nice memory of your mum) Finally I had to call an ambulance when she escaped into her garden and screamed the most haunting scream as though she going to be murdered. We watched the ambulance take her away and she never came back to her beloved beautiful bungalow anymore. She went into a Care Home and now 4 years later, still there, getting frailer, not knowing any of us, her vacant look, still getting violent and even though she is frail, she can still be very strong when she gets agitated. - I cannot reiterate enough what a cruel, cruel illness it is .
The Government need to help fund, prevention, possible cures so that future generations can beat this evil disease.
The Government need to help fund, prevention, possible cures so that future generations can beat this evil disease.
Tracy
I can give you a link to the story that came out in the Manchester Evening News on 08/09/24 and here it is
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/asked-innocent-question-saucepan-nothing-29868615
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/asked-innocent-question-saucepan-nothing-29868615
GERARD
My Uncle and Aunt have both been diagnosed with different forms of dementia since 2023. But before that my uncle used to leave their flat and go walking, many times my parents and I were informed and we would then spend the next hour or so driving to where they lived to try and find him. He was known in the end to the police and was sectioned, he was in hospital for a few months until January 2023 when he ended up in a residential care home. My aunt was then diagnosed and has ended up in the care home too. It has been extremely sad to watch them deteriorated. But along side that they didn't have a power of attorney or a will. I therefore as their niece have spent since May 2023, applying for Deputyship, it has been one of the most stressful times of my life. It took until May 2024 to finally be allowed by the court to be a Deputy for both of them for their financial affairs. All the while they were having to still pay the rent on the flat they used to both live in together and are still paying it, alongside us now receiving a bill from the local council for £43,000 due to the fact they were given an heritance from my late aunt. Its been so sad to see the money they have worked hard for alongside the inheritance being not only use on my aunts care but also on the flat that has no one living it. The judge will not agree to cancel the tenancy even though there is many Dols Assessments on my aunt to say she cannot live on her own, because every now and again she says "she wants to go home" We are still waiting for the judge to agree that she cannot go home as she is too vunerable. Social care, the care home and other carers agree there is no way she can return to the flat. But until the judge says that, my poor aunt and uncle have to continue to pay the rent on the flat. This needs to be taken to the govt. And I happy to sign any petition for this. Its terrible to think through no fault of their own they have this dreadful disease, both had to go into a care home as they were both so vunerable and couldn't look after themselves. Something should be written into law to say that once this happens the family can cancel any tenancy or mortgage that they may still have. All of this just adds to the sadness and stress of what is a very difficult time. And on speaking to dementia support we are not the first case of this, there are many families in a similar situation.
Kay
Dear me and my lovely partner of18 years Karen is59 and has Alzheimer’s my heart is broken every day is a challenge
Paul
My mum is 91 years old she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 2018; like others have shared, we repeatedly took her to the GP each time she passed the GPCOG , although she never could recall the made up name and address! We were told it was just old age despite the fact that her mother and grandmother both had dementia.
After the diagnosis she was put on medication but it made no difference and was probably too late. We struggled on for a further 3 years with no help or guidance battling our way through bureaucracy and ridiculous statements and requests from professionals. After several falls we made the tough decision to move mum to a care home, more falls and eventually we had to move her to a nursing home within a week she fell out of bed and fractured her hip she never walked again. 2 years on and she is bed bound doubly incontinent and needs to be fed. To see our once strong, independent, intelligent mum reduced to lying in a bed being fed and changed and turned is heart breaking. Mum trained as a Nurse then as a Health Visitor she loved classical music and singing was a great seamstress, gardener and even after her diagnosis could do the Guardian crossword better than us. It saddens me when people just see an old lady with dementia. My sister and I have said we should write a book the title will be " Oh she was a nurse was she!!!"
After the diagnosis she was put on medication but it made no difference and was probably too late. We struggled on for a further 3 years with no help or guidance battling our way through bureaucracy and ridiculous statements and requests from professionals. After several falls we made the tough decision to move mum to a care home, more falls and eventually we had to move her to a nursing home within a week she fell out of bed and fractured her hip she never walked again. 2 years on and she is bed bound doubly incontinent and needs to be fed. To see our once strong, independent, intelligent mum reduced to lying in a bed being fed and changed and turned is heart breaking. Mum trained as a Nurse then as a Health Visitor she loved classical music and singing was a great seamstress, gardener and even after her diagnosis could do the Guardian crossword better than us. It saddens me when people just see an old lady with dementia. My sister and I have said we should write a book the title will be " Oh she was a nurse was she!!!"
Catherine
My wife Barbara ann Roberts died from it on the 7th of September 2024 after 11 years my wife was 1 of the good people of the world but the government didn't even care about her I have write to the government over the past 5 months a letter a month and not 1 letter back so in January I will be sending all the The letters to the sun BBC ITV in my wife name because I will not let her be forgotten because she was a person which care for people and animals she was not just a number she was the woman I love and still love so much
David
My beautiful Dad he’s 18 nearly 81 diagnosed the last six months he knows who we are but he forgets he’s forgotten how to put his clothes on simple things. It’s heartache he’s getting worse but at least he knows who we are thank goodness.
Fiona Grace
My mum died over six years ago with alzheimers she was 82. Myself and my brothers took care of her at home. It was a challenging time for us all, I'm so glad we had each other because we all contributed in our own different ways. We were all there when mum passed away, which I found a great comfort. I felt it was such a relief when mum went as it was so heart wrenching each day to look into her eyes, as it wasn't her. Her sparkle had gone and I believe we had all really mourned for her before she died. We had alot of laughs through the time, she said and did such funny things and this humour helped us. It appeared she felt content when we were all with her.
I work as a Senior Carer at a nursing home, having contact with many dementia patients, but seeing my mum was so very different, I think because I knew her personality and traits before the alzheimers robbed her.
It is such a cruel condition and I don't think people do understand it enough, having a stigma attached to it because it is a condition related to the mind.
Myself and my daughter have really enjoyed the memory walks we have taken part in, which have usually moved us to tears. Raising awareness like this is invaluable. I think of June, my mum, everyday.
I work as a Senior Carer at a nursing home, having contact with many dementia patients, but seeing my mum was so very different, I think because I knew her personality and traits before the alzheimers robbed her.
It is such a cruel condition and I don't think people do understand it enough, having a stigma attached to it because it is a condition related to the mind.
Myself and my daughter have really enjoyed the memory walks we have taken part in, which have usually moved us to tears. Raising awareness like this is invaluable. I think of June, my mum, everyday.
Joanna
I look after my partner been together 21 yrs, his age is 67. 2 yrs ago alan started forgetting where he had put his car keys, and when he was cooking forgetting to switch the cooker off. We went to the GP and got referred to the memory clinic alan had a mri and had a few spits in his frontal lobe, they decided it was his type 2 diabetes but I had a gut feeling it was vascular dementia as my dad had it and alan was showing similar symptoms. Fast forward a year and alan started showing more symptoms achy legs and being unsteady on his feet we was still going out fishing shopping and socialising just took him longer to climb stairs, then he started losing his balance and falling over his forgetfulness was getting worse had a follow up appt with memory clinic and another mri the result was his frontal lobe was just white. The last 6 months alan has gone from being able to stand and now is bedridden the muscle mass has deteriorated his pallette is up and down I give him his meals and 5 minutes later he's asking me what we are having , he has a catheter in doesn't know when he needs a poo and soils himself, some days he just eats all day and others doesn't want to eat at all he has started withdrawing into himself and is in constant pain and sleeps most of the day on and off watches the same programmes all the time his eyesight is deteriorating and his hearing. Was diagnosed with vascular dementia earlier this year .
It is such a cruel disease
It is such a cruel disease
Tina
My Wife has Alzheimer’s disease. Diagnosed in 2014, but apparent to me for about 4 years before diagnoses. Christine never accepted the diagnosis. She had a seizure in 2019 and was unable walk afterwards, despite the best efforts of physiologist and OT’s. I continued to care for her at home with the help of 2 caregivers 4 times per day from an agency. Which cost us over £1000 per week. After a few months I realised that I was unable to cope and Christine moved into a nursing home. I was very distressed by this. The move happened about 10 weeks before Covid restrictions were imposed. I was not allowed to see her until eventually the restrictions were eased slightly. We have 3 children and also grandchildren. Our family have supported us throughout the last 15 years as the Alzheimer’s has progressed. Christine can no longer speak, walk, feed herself although I am sure she is aware of everything that is going on around her.
Edmund
Share your story
Help bring dementia out from behind closed doors and tell us, what is your reality of dementia?