Since 2017 I have cared for my mum who is now 89, blind, partially deaf, has increasingly poor mobility and short term memory loss which is getting worse. We have NO support. No family, no carers-nothing. I am sure my mum has dementia but I am unable to take her to a GP for diagnosis as she is not well enough to get there. Anyway I am exhausted every day and too tired with cooking, cleaning, guiding mum to the toilet 15 times a day and twice at night. Usually 4 hours sleep is good if I can get it. I can no longer leave mum while I go out for more than 10 minutes a she forgets where she is and is at risk of falling. I had a carers assessment-offered 2 hours a week break. Quite honestly, you would think this was a HUGE deal and I should be thankful. I get some insincere sympathy from so many but no help. Our lives are over now. That's it. I am literally counting the days until mum eventually dies. I have been tempted to just drive off and live on the streets to get away or deliberately crash and get myself some peace in hospital for a few weeks.
As for carers taking care of themselves well how can I? I can't be ill, see a doctor, dentist or optician. I am 58 and my life is over. I am past caring about most things. I can never see any friends, have hobbies, go out or ever have a holiday. People always say I should take mum out. I cannot manage to look after her alone anymore. Always advice and no hep in this lousy country. The last straw is not being able to go to a friends funeral.
One day I am giving up altogether. I hate seeing my mother lonely and suffering. Honestly, it is reaching that point where we would both be better off dead. And as I can no longer take care of my health anymore, that might be very soon. I would strongly recommend AGAINST being a carer-you will live to regret it-and die-no matter how good your intentions
Dementia Support Line
Mark Riley
saysSince 2017 I have cared for my mum who is now 89, blind, partially deaf, has increasingly poor mobility and short term memory loss which is getting worse. We have NO support. No family, no carers-nothing. I am sure my mum has dementia but I am unable to take her to a GP for diagnosis as she is not well enough to get there. Anyway I am exhausted every day and too tired with cooking, cleaning, guiding mum to the toilet 15 times a day and twice at night. Usually 4 hours sleep is good if I can get it. I can no longer leave mum while I go out for more than 10 minutes a she forgets where she is and is at risk of falling. I had a carers assessment-offered 2 hours a week break. Quite honestly, you would think this was a HUGE deal and I should be thankful. I get some insincere sympathy from so many but no help. Our lives are over now. That's it. I am literally counting the days until mum eventually dies. I have been tempted to just drive off and live on the streets to get away or deliberately crash and get myself some peace in hospital for a few weeks.
As for carers taking care of themselves well how can I? I can't be ill, see a doctor, dentist or optician. I am 58 and my life is over. I am past caring about most things. I can never see any friends, have hobbies, go out or ever have a holiday. People always say I should take mum out. I cannot manage to look after her alone anymore. Always advice and no hep in this lousy country. The last straw is not being able to go to a friends funeral.
One day I am giving up altogether. I hate seeing my mother lonely and suffering. Honestly, it is reaching that point where we would both be better off dead. And as I can no longer take care of my health anymore, that might be very soon. I would strongly recommend AGAINST being a carer-you will live to regret it-and die-no matter how good your intentions