Real stories

Being a keyworker and carer during coronavirus

What I can't understand is the way the government is pushing compulsory vaccination for care workers when vaccination does not stop you getting Covid or passing it on. Furthermore what I cannot understand is the fact that they know there is a major care crisis with a shortage of workers being a major factor among many others issues and yet they will be forcing people out of their jobs as a result. On top of that is the unsolved problem that lockdowns have produced, namely the residents being kept away from those relatives/friends who love and care for them and individual care homes continuing to do just as they please.

Do all care home workers have to have the covid jab if not will the carers who get the jab refuse to work with they colleagues who do not get it and at Xmas will it be safe for residents when staff come back after households meeting with family and friends thanks

I see all these tragic stories about the impact on people suffering from dementia in residential homes but I do not see any action. My husband is in a residential home he has suffered a great deal of harm because of the LOCK DOWN imposed by people who have no idea what they are doing. I can tell them what their inhumane policy is doing it's breaking our hearts there would be public outcry if animals were treated like this. Human rights they have none. Writing letters of complaint does not work I have tried that. No more pieces of paper please let us get together and stop this senseless banning of visiting we are the only lifeline these poor demented people have. let us band together and hold Matt Hancock and the rest of them to account

My mother is in a care home in Harrow. It is excellent and she is really being looked after. But I have to see her half an hour in the garden and in the care home hairdressers. Also, as is the case with dementia, my mother cannot now have long conversations so trying to have a half hour conversation at an appointed time really does not help.

We were allowed a couple of visitors at a time but now we are only allowed one visitor and an email has stated that it should be the same visitor if possible. I live closer to mum, my sister lives in Brighton and is distraught that she now cannot now see her and my mum's memory will fade. My sister has been tested three times owing to her job so I will ask if we can alternate as before.

I wrote to her MP and included the LHA note that suggests getting a delegated family member to be able to have greater access. The MP was very interested but unfortunately has passed it on to Matt Hancock. I'm afraid I cannot go into what I think of this man without using very bad language so I will go no further!

I have constant anxiety - I wake up in the morning with it and it's there all day.

I have heard that Helen Wildbore of the Relatives and Residents Association and a All Party Parliamentary Group are looking into this problem. So I will write to them.

Can I also say that my heart goes out to all those people who are struggling with this. I've heard so much anguish from people who have relatives in a much more desperate state than my mum. She is well looked after and incidentally her chest infections that she kept getting have kept at bay.

The carers took her to the care home hairdressers and she had her hair done, she's had her feet done and had her meals in the dining room. Before she refused to go there. So I am grateful.

My father has been evicted from his care home. They say that they can no longer meet his needs. The needs that they have stated have always been present, the only change is that the family are not providing 1:1 every afternoon. The home have never had to care for him 24/7 until lockdown. He has had three mini strokes and four falls during lockdown and we were not allowed to see him. Communication has been poor with no updates re his health & wellbeing unless we asked them and then they made us feel we were making a fuss. When we asked adult services when they would be opening the home to visits tbey said it was a matter for public health not the local authority which contradicts the current guidance. Neither the home nor local authority seem to have any compassion or understanding for what famies are going through at the moment. My mother and father have been together for 70 years and not being with him for more than six months is breaking her heart.

We have just had to put my father into a care home . As we have not been allowed to visit he feels we have abandoned him . After 65 years of marriage my mother is racked with guilt. He has lost mobility due to being bed ridden for 8 weeks in hospital which is why he’s had to go to a care home. When He has spoken to my mother on the phone he has become very abusive and keeps repeating that we have abandoned him and that he is so lonely . The feeling of helplessness is overwhelming for me and my mother . We can’t even get the dementia assessment we need so that he can get some medical help. The whole situation is so difficult for him and us and no one seems to be addressing the problem.

Both my Mum, who is 90 and my Brother, who is 63, live in the same care home. They are both suffering greatly by the total lack of any support from family. The care home staff have being doing a great job, but they are not their family and cannot give them the love and support they so desperately need. In my brother’s case, I am his voice, as he does not have capacity, after a road accident when he was a child. He is distressed and confused, we used to visit every day, now he won’t answer the phone to me, because I don’t go - he doesn’t understand I am not allowed to. My Mum and him were on separate floors, but it was decided 4 weeks ago the floors had to be kept apart, so this meant my Mum had to be moved downstairs in order that they could have some contact with each other, obviously this move has caused her upset. What is happening to our loved ones is cruel and heartless, they are locked away like “prisoners” left to deteriorate further, both mentally and physically. They are allowed no personal services, the hairdresser has not been allowed in for over 6 months, and it was only after I made a lot of fuss that they finally allowed a chiropodist in 2 weeks ago, to cut their nails and give foot care which many elderly need, mine were both in pain from the lack of this service. Why cannot the government, local authorities and care homes manage to set up, after 6 long months, a safe system where one relative could see their loved one, tested, wearing PPE, for a pre-arranged visit at least once a week - why is it so difficult to arrange this? The care home owners are still getting their huge fees from us, and many emails and phone calls with my families care home head office, leaves me feeling, that as long as they are getting their money they feel under no pressure to make the representations they should be doing to ensure that our loved ones, we entrust into their care, get the contact they so desperately need with their families. Time is not on their side and for many it will soon be too late, and there is no end in sight to this dreadful situation they and we are facing. I have made representations to my local MP, Councillors, Local Authority Officials and The Mayor of Greater Manchester, but have made little progress. Tomorrow I intend to contact the local and national press and the TV., in the hope that they may give more publicity to what is happening in care homes because someone has got to be made to listen and act on the plight of our loved ones who are now so isolated in their care homes. It’s good to know we not alone in this, as it is a situation that makes you feel so helpless.

I feel your pain. My husband has been in a care home for over 3 years, during which time I had been able to visit him and be involved in his care every day. Not being able to be with him since March is excruciating for me and confusing and distressing for him; he has been my best friend since we were 14 years old. When he was diagnosed I told him I would be there for him until the end. Given the reported capacity for coronavirus testing, which seems to be greater than tests done, I dont understand why regular tests can't be extended to people like myself in order to allow me to resume supporting both my husband and the overstretched staff at his home.

Many care homes employ staff who work in multiple settings, especially agency staff including nurses who circulate between care homes and hospitals and this must surely increase the risk of transmission of coronavirus. Therefore I would expect that there would be a minimal safety impact of granting key worker status to a small number of selected visitors to those care home residents who have a particular need for support. This especially applies to people who have dementia but also too for those who have other severe disabilities and require support. Since March I have not been able to visit a close friend who is quadriplegic and living in a nursing following a stroke. I would usually visit 4 days each week to assist with meals, drinks, physiotherapy and help with his interests to help him have a good quality of life. Such assistance is close up and hands on. Staff only have time to do basic care and he is often bored. Only outdoor socially distanced visits are permitted in that nursing home, but that is not possible due to his emotional issues. I have contacted my MP and local authority seeking support for the idea of key worker status as proposed by the Alzheimer's Society but nothing has been forthcoming.

I am at my wit's end. Have contacted everyone I hoped could help but only received a reply from local MP who was taking it up with whoever but that was 3 weeks ago and could be a month before he hears anything. Have contacted Prime Minister, no response, Nick Ferrari (no laughing) contemplating whether it is worth trying other broadcasters. They only seem interested in GCSE results, etc at present. Have seen my husband once since March when his deterioration was extremely upsetting. Thought about local paper but feel I'm hitting my head against a brick wall. Yes, I feel sorry for the young but time is on their side. Not so with our loved ones.

Maybe the Alzheimer's society could show all these heartbreaking stories to the BBC's news channel s and get the political editor s on board and publicised so the general public who are now enjoying lockdown measures bring eased realise how devastated we all are not seeing our loved ones still after nearly 3 months
Scotland's care homes are coming out of lockdown on 3rd July and following a strict programme of social distancing outdoor s then phased in stages indoors
Please please why can't this happen here noone seems to listen or care

I agree with all Tony's heartfelt story and it resonates with my own story.
My mother's care home is wonderful but the chief executive.
Would not give me any good reason why I could not visit my mother in the very large garden and wear PPE
I have followed all the daily briefings and hoped the goverment would give us good news but nothing ever came.
Our loved ones are being treated disgraceful ly intact it feels like abuse and a very cruel way to treat and our families.
The government need to lockdown in care homes that are free from covid19 and let us be reunited once again .yes we understand we must social distance but I cannot bare seeing my mother behind thick plastic sheeting !! Which is what her home is using and it's very distressing.i want to see her outdoors in the garden surely if Scotland can do it on 3rd July we can !!

My younger sister is in a care home. Major stroke 10 years ago, dementia past 4 years or so. I have always thought care home is not the right environment, but no ideal alternative, she is only 68, no meaningful speech since stroke. Pre lockdown I visited 5/6 days a week, helped with eating, personal care etc. I have been my sister's steadfast support throughout the 10 years since stroke. Care homes are never adequately staff no matter how much they insist they are. Since lockdown I managed a couple of random window visits, most unsatisfactory. On 30th May I received a call she had slipped from her chair, considering she is not independently mobile I regard this as careless at best, negligence at worst. No medical professional went into home to physically check a developing problem with stroke effect leg, until I got a look through window, and expressed concern. My call to surgery instigated ANP visit and resulted in trip to hospital fir DVT scan, xray for possible fracture. This 3 weeks on from fall! At this point it was considered OK for me to accompany her to hospital, though window visits now blocked as garden is being utilised for residents. The saga is ongoing. The way our loved one's are being deprived of family support / monitoring for this extended period of time resonates with me as nothing short of cruelty and abuse.

I know how you all feel
I am just on a learning curve

It is comforting to not we are not alone. I'm so sorry for your losses. This is an incredibly heart-breaking situation. And the feeling that the Government neither seem to notice nor care drives me insane. If one more friend says they know how I feel I may scream, I know they're trying to help but I just need to empathy.