Advice

‘I want to go home’ - What to say to someone with dementia in care

I don’t live with my parents, my mother will call me and put my father on and he keeps going on about another home. I tell him the other home is be renovated to make it nice for him. I told my mother to hide the car keys and just had a chat with him and lied and said I took them home by mistake and will bring them back the next time I’m there. I’m at a loss, I’m afraid he is going to wonder off! My father is 90 and my mom is 85 and she is really getting very frazzled every time he starts this. I don’t know where to turn. I called a doctor and had video call since he was not taking patients at the moment due to covid -19. He made a prescription for two medications and recommended vitamins as well. Now I’m not sure he is going to take them. I’m so frazzled myself.

What do you say when the person is in their own home but they don’t recognize it and keep insisting they want to go home?

When mum says she wants to go home,
I tell her this is home in the nursing home,
Mum goes this is not home, at 94,
Not matter how much I say it ,everyone has different levels of dementia so don’t think for one second my mum I knows
Where she is , I
I have worked in nursing homes for over
10 years ,
Yes we all get old , but you need to respect what someone says ,
I tell mum there is no one at home now
And you need help to get tea and dressed
It helps mum understand , as for saying
You can go home tomorrow ,
I think is so dishonest, and cruel
I go see mum everyday , and I love her so much , the time I spend with mum is so special,
I would not be on earth only for her and Dad of course , love ya mum

My mother lives in the same apartment she has lived in for over 15 years yet she constantly wants "to go home." So if you have a parent in a facility wanting to go home, you don't have to feel guilty. It's really not a matter of where they are, it is, I think, a feeling of wanting everything to feel familiar.

My mother thinks she still has 2 little boys. She wants to look for them and call the police to look for them. She wants me to drive her around in the neighborhood to look for her children. She wants me to go to the police station to report her children missing. I just half to tell her no we can’t go to the police station. This one is difficult. She has these episodes about 3 to 4 times per week. She lives with me.

My husband often says he wants to go home. We are, living together in the same house we have been in for over twenty years.. This mostly happens late afternoon or evening, have even had to drive around for a while and then bring him home. Most nights he asks where he can sleep we still share a bedroom and bed. I am finding this very difficult and it is getting worse.

My mother was diagnosed with ALS in May 2016. Her doctor put her on riluzole, letting her know there was no cure but the medication might provide her a few more months of delayed symptoms. ALS progresses at different rates and affects different body parts first. My mother, being 73 at that time, fell into a category of what they call "fast progression" (older female). Her arms weakened first, then her hands, her mouth, and throat, and finally her lungs. Throughout her two-and-a-half-year ordeal, she was able to walk with assistance nothing was really working to help her condition.I took her off the riluzole (without the doctor’s knowledge) and started her on amyotrophic lateral sclerosis herbal formula i ordered from Health Herbal Clinic(dr.peter'sherbalhome) , her symptoms totally declined over a 5 weeks use of the ALS disease natural herbal remedy. She's now almost 75 and doing very well, the disease is totally reversed!! with the spiritual help of dr peter wise ,contact peterwiseherbalcenter today  on whatsapp via 2349059610643  for ALS , Parkinson , MND and other related diseases . 

My mother was diagnosed with ALS in May 2016. Her doctor put her on riluzole, letting her know there was no cure but the medication might provide her a few more months of delayed symptoms. ALS progresses at different rates and affects different body parts first. My mother, being 73 at that time, fell into a category of what they call "fast progression" (older female). Her arms weakened first, then her hands, her mouth, and throat, and finally her lungs. Throughout her two-and-a-half-year ordeal, she was able to walk with assistance nothing was really working to help her condition.I took her off the riluzole (without the doctor’s knowledge) and started her on amyotrophic lateral sclerosis herbal formula i ordered from Health Herbal Clinic(dr.peter'sherbalhome) , her symptoms totally declined over a 5 weeks use of the ALS disease natural herbal remedy. She's now almost 75 and doing very well, the disease is totally reversed!! with the spiritual help of dr peter wise ,contact peterwiseherbalcenter today  on whatsapp via +2349059610643  mail him via    peterwiseherbalcenter@ gmail. com for ALS , Parkinson , MND and other related diseases . 

My recurring mantra for my Mother (88) is the following: 1) You are safe here. 2) The staff here is wonderful. 3) You are okay. I say it when I first see her. I work all three into wherever the conversation goes. And I say them again before I leave. The repetition seems to give her a sense of normalcy...that all is alright. (Of course, when angry Mother shows up, although I still repeat the mantra, its efficacy is doubtful! That is said with somewhat of a smile. We can only do our best with all the love we have.)

Don't forget to check whether the Dementia sufferer is in pain/discomfort and needs analgesia. The illness can cause people to express physical discomfort in behavioural and emotional ways (e.g: "I want to go home" or angry statements and behaviour).

I don’t no weather my mum his giving up she as demtia she’s not eating only bits she can’t walk anymore and she as to wear a pad now she had a chest infection and she’s gone down hill since then

My mom is very angry and calls me names when I go there. It's very distressing for me so I don't stay very long

My mom was placed in assisted living 7 months ago because she could no longer live independently. She needs 24/7 care. She has never really adjusted to it. The past 2 months have been exceptionally hard. She wants to go home, she says she doesnt know what hit her, she asks why this has happened to her, she says she's in prison, she says she wants to get out of here, she wants a lawyer, the staff has brainwashed me, she can't go on like this much longer, she's bored. No matter what I say or do, she can't be consoled. She's depressed, agitated, despondent, angry. I can't fix it, I try not to feel guilty but I do, it makes me sad to see her suffering and not understanding what's happened. I visit about every 3 days and stay about an hour. I call her, too. I never know if I'm visiting too much or not enough. She's always sad when I leave and she wants to come home with me. We had her with us for 3 weeks initially and it is a 24/7 job that i don't think I'm trained to handle. Medications, incontinence, mood swings, bathing, dressing, etc. She gets great care where she is and I truly know she is safe.

When my aunt inquired about going home, I simply say OK we will go as soon as our taxi arrives. Please have a seat or we will walk to the door and look for the taxi. Sometimes I will walk her from the memory care facility to the assisted living building, grab a snack out of the vending machine and return to the memory care building.

I have my best friend in CCC ,65 after
Post-Polio,after stroke,cardiac arrest,
Dementia, and I'm take him back HIS
Home soon.I'm the only family He got.
same time one best friend is better than whole family. I will try my best .