Advice

‘I want to go home’ - What to say to someone with dementia in care

My dad is still living at home with a mild case of dementia. He is feeble and not strong enough to walk around. He is driving mama to the brink about wanting to go home. They are in the house that they have lived in for 61 years! I don't know how to help mama. He keeps threatening to "walk" home if she doesn't drive him. He interacts with the great granddaughter but doesn't talk too much to others unless he is on the " wanting to go home mood". He does not seem to recognize the house, doesn't know which bedroom is his or where the bathroom is. You can see all these rooms from his recliner, as this is a small house. Today he woke up wanting to ho home....mama was nearly out if it tonight as she has battled this all day long.
I live 650 miles away and it is hard for me to help. Tried to give him a small dose of medication to reduce his anxiety but he loses all his strength and mama can not m over him around if he can't hp at all.
Is there anything we can do to redirect him from wanting to go home when he is in the only home he has lived in for 61 years?
Thanks any help would be appreciated.

Ive moved in with my mom ive sold my house to care for her to keep her at home she recognises her home some days and today she keeps saying take me home it breaks my heart as i only want the best for her GP prescribed promazine to calm her but it seems to make her worse .There is no way she is going into care i will cope as long as i can as i love her dearly but some nights i cry i feel im losing her i dont even know the stage of dementia shes at im a staff nurse but find when this situation hits home its hard

Hi we are moving my Nan from the dementia care home she is in at present to another one so she is closer to family and to keep her safe as the home she is in is not keeping her safe.

What advice can you give for making the move more smooth, she hasn’t been out of the home she is in since going in , in October 2018. We know it’s going to be hard but any advice would be appreciated as not seen her since lockdown either.

My father has been in a care home for 5 weeks. I would say his dementia is moderate. We have only, just this week been able to visit through the window due to covid and he has asked to "get me out of here" ever time we visit. He says it's like a prison. The staff in the home say he is fine but how do we know if this is part of his condition or whether his feelings are justified. His social worker asked what his address was and he gave 2 addresses from his younger days but not the most recent one. He seems unhappy but would moving him to another care home make any difference? it's so upsetting.

My husband has dementia , some days i have to drive for hours because he asked to go home, so i will take him to his old address and he will say no , then i will ask him to give me the address and it will be in Cuba, it's very hard some days but I don't want to put him in a home, and I'm by myself also The lord he is my help.

My mum has had vascular dementia for the past 7 years, she lost Dad 28 years ago, she came and lived with me because my sister was being abusive towards her, whilst she was living with me she caught shingles in her eye & head, she was so poorly I thought she was going to die, she slowly recovered, last November she fell and broke her hip and was moved into a care home, she was diagnosed with cancer in April and had another operation, which I have been told they successfully removed, she has gone down hill, she was then moved from hospital into nursing home. Because of covid 19 we are only allowed to see her once a week through a glass window, she looks so sad you can see it in her eyes, the home is lovely and I know that she is safe and well looked after, she asks all the time when am I coming home which is upsetting for us all, I just wish I could do something to make Mum happy and have my old Mum back, the guilt that I feel is horrible, I just wait for the day to come when Mum passes away, I know that I will feel like I let her down :-(

My mother was diagnosed with moderate to severe dementia approx 6 months ago, she seemed to have went downhill from my dads passing 5 years ago and she cant remember him anymore . She recently started wandering looking for home and is now a flight risk, so I gave up my job and moved in, i have been her now for 4 months and only get out twice a week for 3 hours at a time, if i go out i am afraid that she will leave the house as she no longer recognises it as being her own. I had no help from family member who seemed to make every excuse there was not to help out And i watched as they Selfishly socialised and had fun whilst abandoning me and my needs, so i had to make the very difficult decision to place her in care, i cant help feeling guilt and shame for doing so and am not sure if im Making the right decision especially at this time with covid 19, There are days when she is lucid and other days Where she cannot remember anything at all and then i believe im doing the right thing. Its One of the hardest decisions ive ever had to make And feel like im abandoning her, everyone tells me not to feel guilty but its easier said than done, any advice would be much appreciated

My grandfather has late-stage Alzheimer’s, and he often states that he wants to go home. My mother has pieced together clues (such as his asking where his children are) and realized that - to him - “home” is the period of time in which he and my grandmother were raising their children (rather than having adult children) in a different area than they live currently. Mom believes that those years must’ve been his happiest. Sometimes, “home” isn’t just a different place - it can be a different time, too.

My mum lives with me in our home. I never moved out. When I'm at work she looks to go home our carers told me. Do we do the same points as in article or do something else to reassure her she's safe

When my mum fell and broke both hips, after the anaesthetic she was very confused, I was told she had Dementia, I moved her in with me and my son. She had a mortgage and we could not afford to carry on with the payments, after losing my dad to Alzheimers. I sold her house and paid off the mortgage, and as mum had in her Will. I put a small amount into my mortgage. Three years on, its been better for mum to be with family although, obviously her condition worsens..
I never thought at the time but, I have since heard that if mum needs to go into a home as her conditions worsens, will her care need to be funded by me. I lost my husband four years ago and I am now a single person, working part time ...to care for mum.

Many thanks

June 21, 2020
What are the rights of someone that may have dementia to stay in his or her own home? My mother's brother (in his 80s) who lives alone was recently admitted to the hospital because of strange behavior. He recently experienced the passing/loss of his dog who has been with him for well over 10 years. I believe this happened in May, 2020. The hospital where he was said my uncle was confused. To my knowledge no one has a confirmed diagnosis of dementia or alzheimers. The hospital found he tested positive for covid-19. He was asymptomatic; no fever and no upper respiratory distress. My uncle has grown children, but he is independent, and has always taken care of himself without the help of his children. One of his daughters said the doctor told her he had bleeding in the brain, however it appeared to be stable. This is the daughter who has been making all the decisions for him while in the hospital. He had to stay in the hospital until he tested negative for covid-19. He keeps telling us that he's going home. His daughter said he would go home with her once he gets out of the hospital. However, she has placed him in a facility that takes almost two hours to get to. Most times when my mom & I call to speak to him, we're told that he is asleep. When we speak to him by phone, his speech is slurred due to the medication given to him. None of his children have any intention of taking him out of the facility to take him either to his own home or home with them. My mom offered to have him brought to our house as an alternative so that he can be monitored, along with home health aide assistance. He wants to go back to his apartment, however, one of the daughters has her son living in his apartment now. My mother, a retired nurse, has always been there for her brother, and now it seems like she can't do anything, and that his rights are null and void. What more can we do (if anything) to help my uncle maintain his independence with healthcare provided in the home?

My mom have a symptom of dimentia always asking to go back home in the philippnes where my dad lives but the lroblem is she accused my dad havina a thied party how could be together in one house that shes mad with my dad?

We put my dad in assisted living in March. We have not been able to visit him at all due to covid-19. He's been there about two and a half months now. He seemed to start to adjust but the last 10 days he has had to wear a mask due to a staff worker testing positive for covid-19.
We talked to him everyday by phone. He is becoming irate and wants to go home. He says he is going to walk out of there and yells at us on the phone. I don't know what to expect the first time we are able to go visit him, whenever that will be??

My dad has been I a resedential care home hor 8weeks. He tells people this is not my new home and I am not staying here forever.

I don't know where to turn with my question, the home I work in has told family members of a dementia suffer to stay away because it upsets there mum. Myself I think this is so so wrong but what can I do.