Advice

Care homes: when, why and how?

How do you know when the time is right? 

"My wife Yvonne and I had wonderful support from family and friends after she was diagnosed with young-onset dementia in 2013. But by the end of 2018, I was burning out. 

"The tipping point came with the onset of Yvonne’s double incontinence. I could no longer recharge my batteries.  

From day one, Yvonne loved the care home. She never once asked why she was there or why she wasn’t leaving with me after a visit. 

"I hope this proves that, fortuitously, we got the timing spot-on."

Trevor Saloman, Alzheimer’s Society supporter

What are the benefits of a care home?

"To start with, it’s 24-hour support, which is probably more than you can do yourself even if you’re living with someone with dementia. 

But care homes are also sociable places, with lots going on, which can help slow down someone’s decline.  

"It can also be easier for friends and family to visit and spend quality time together, without worrying about doing the washing up or popping to the shops."

Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Advisers 

Who makes the decision to find a care home?

"When a care home is being considered, it’s usually when the person with dementia has lost the ability (or mental capacity) to make that decision themselves. 

"It is often a family member making the care home decision, but it can be someone with lasting power of attorney.

The main question to consider is 'what is in the best interests of the person with dementia?'

"If you can no longer provide the level of care they need, or a person can’t live independently any more, it might be time to consider alternative care.

Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Advisers 

Can I make the decision to find a home myself?

"Yes! It started for me when I would put the phone down after a call and think, 'What did they say then?' It didn’t concern me at first, it was my children who noticed it more than me.  

"Then my husband, Keith, was diagnosed with dementia and after that my memory just went downhill.

"It was Keith who first lived at Belong Wigan (the care village), but I didn’t want to be at home by myself – I would have been too isolated. I now live in one of the independent living apartments and I have carers coming in every morning, to give me my medication.

I settled in here straight away really, I’m very happy. It’s all so lovely, so friendly, and there’s so much going on to keep you active.

Kath Sutherland, Alzheimer’s Society supporter  

How much will it cost to use a care home?

"As someone’s support and supervision needs increase, homecare costs can be very high, so care homes can be a more affordable way to get the right level of support.

Asking your local authority or trust for an assessment will give you a clear understanding of what kind of home is most appropriate – and it will also work out whether you can apply to the local authority for help with the costs.

"If you’re paying privately, the advice site payingforcare.org has an online calculator that helps you find the average cost of a care home in your area."

Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Advisers