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My Dad got his formal diagnosis in August 2020.
I had taken him to his GP a few times in late 2019 as both myself & my Mum knew he wasn’t right. My Dad himself knew there was something wrong, he was frightened as couldn’t understand why some of the simplest tasks he could no longer remember how to do them. It took 3 visits to the GP with him plus numerous calls from me chasing it up to finally get the referral to a memory clinic . It took several phone calls chasing up the memory clinic for the diagnosis as we were struggling to get extra care to look after him, as we needed that formal diagnosis.
When we finally got the diagnosis it was heart breaking, we were already witnessing Dad disappearing, he went from a happy , very social able , joke telling person to a withdrawn person, who was frightened of any strange noises & hardly spoke.
I would like to see families and people with dementia get the help & support quicker and for the person with dementia to be treated with respect & dignity. I would like to see a campaign to teach everyone how to respond to a person with dementia when they are out & about and not to stare or ridicule them.

My mum, Marjorie was diagnosed with Alzheimers in January 2017 but showed earlier signs of memory loss and anxiety when my step father informed my brother and l of this in July 2011.
They did not ask for our help and lived 375 miles away from us so did not notice mums decline other than when speaking on the phone fortnightly.
In March 2017, mums husband was in hospital for three weeks with heart problems and sadly died after open heart surgery. I think trying to care for mum's needs on his own had seriously stressed him out.
During that time, mum was placed in a care home and then after my step dad's funeral decided to have mum live with my husband and l. It was then that we realised how difficult it was to cope with a person with a mental disability.
I tried day care and respite in a local care home but was unsettling for mum and change of routine.
In November 2018, l had to place mum in a care home near where she used to live, full time. It was heartbreaking and felt so guilty that l couldn't look after her anymore.
Early diagnosis is important but it's not easy for someone like my mum who was in denial about the illness and just put it down to getting older.
Mum passed away in January 2022 at the care home. She refused the vaccines for covid so caught it and got pneumonia. Mum was 85 years of age.

My beautiful mum whom I sadly lost to dementia and COPD on 22/02/2024 is who's story I would love to share.
About 9 years ago things started to change with the kindest most beautiful souled person became argumentative. She started disliking people. Would tell us stories that made no sense. Cooked dad the same dinner over and over again. The changes were slow but there were so many. We took mum she had a memory test passed with flying colours. I told mum well if there is nothing wrong I'm not sure I actually like the person you are becoming no idea why you are changing but if there is no reason I will not be nice to you when you are so unkind to me (naturally I was always nice to here but just could not understand why my beautifully natured mum was being so unkind at times).Minutes turned into hours that turned into weeks that turned into years mum got worse and worse we carried on as we could with her decline as there was nothing wrong so we were told. Mum had a massive fall smashed her face a few months later mum had another fall on Christmas eve she broke her arm but had such bad breathing a op was not possible. Sadly after this fall mum put herself to bed and would not walk as she was so scared of falling. We got careers into help dad lived with mum and roles were totally reversed he became totally dectated to looking after mum. Mum would see things that were not there. She would blame dad for doing terrible things that were not true. She refused medication life was hell. Got another assessment team in mum yet again passed a memory test but how. Again we carried on the story mum would tell you at times were funny but also heart breaking . Mum kept getting urine infection as eating and drinking were are nightmare she would refuse as she said she had already eaten or had not stopped drinking. Again I got someone in for her to be assed and she finally got the diagnosis of dementia. We were sad but in a way pleased as we had a label for mums behavior and now maybe some help. How wrong could we be the label was given and that was it the door was shut and we were left to get on with it. Phone calls in the night mum being abusive to dad my poor dad not being able to cope. Then covid came mum refused vacations she said she had lived through this diseases before she did not need jabs. Mums urine infection got worse which made the dementia worse. After another visit to hospital a lovely doctor advised me best place for mum would be to go into care she needed 24 hour help. We found a home which we thought was good but because of covid we could not go in. Well this place was pure hell when covid rules were lifted they were still trying to stop people seeing there loved ones. I battled to get my mum out of this place nearly having a breakdown in the process. Thankgod I stuck with my gut and got my mum from hell into pure heaven. Mum spent her last 19 months of her life being treated like a queen by the most beautiful care home ever. We never got a name for mums dementia she always knew who we were and if you were not told she had dementia you would never know it. Her stories were unreal and everyone believed what ever she said. One of the best things I have ever been told is if you meet someone with dementia you have only ever meet one person with that type of dementia and that's so true. Mum and dad worked so hard all there life every penny they made went on mums care dad now lives on the bread line scared to put his heating on. life can be so cruel this illness is wicked and has literally empacted on our life forever. My beautiful mums life ended a few months ago I am so proud of her and fought so hard for her. There needs to be more help I worry for people who do not have the support my beautiful mum had. This our story cut a short as I can . But while living with dementia my mum whom was a poet got her last dream to come true and her amazing care home got her pottery book published and with mum we got to meet The King and Queen which was literally a year before mum passed . So there can be some rainbows in within the clouds.

Together with my dad, I cared for my mum for 6 years when she was diagnosed with vascular dementia. As immediate family we had no knowledge or experience of dementia and didn't feel as if there was anywhere to turn. We noticed behavioural changes in mum that were out of character, followed by memory loss issues and anxiety. Getting a diagnosis was important to understand how to manage the symptoms and better deal with our own emotions as carers. Me and my dad were on a steep learning curve facing different challenges every day. At diagnosis, I felt I had more questions than answers but no one to ask and when the dementia started to progress practical help didn't seem available. Diagnosis should open the gate to support for the person living with dementia and their carers but in reality dementia care is crisis managed. I would like to see a much quicker route to diagnosis, rather than a 12 month waiting time. I would like to see that experts are on hand to support and advise people living with dementia and their carers so they are not managing in isolation. I would like to see dementia being given the same credibility as other terminal illnesses with the empathy and dignity people deserve. When my mother died, 3 months later I joined a charity who support people affected by dementia so others don't have to experience the feelings of isolation I did and have someone to turn to when they really need it. Dementia is now this country's biggest health crisis and we need to take action now!