Share your story
If you're ready to tell your story, we want your voice to be heard.
Help bring dementia out from behind closed doors and tell us, what is your reality of dementia?
It will take society to beat dementia. We’ll take your stories to those who need to hear them most, to help make dementia the political priority it deserves to be.
![Dementia Action Week supporter](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_mobile/public/media/images/image/2024-05/IMG_20230908_170028944-portrait.jpg?itok=wYnk8DLx)
My husband has got steadily worse since just before...
My mum was diagnosed in 2017. It took me roughly 2 years though as I had to fight to get my mum seen by her GP. Eventually she had a memory test and that led to her...
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/20240518_095858_0.jpg?itok=wxwWpSvu)
Hi have been involved with Alzheimer's / Dementia...
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/IMG_1974.jpeg?itok=azOCJHe7)
Mum coped with Dad’s declining awareness for eight...
My wife developed dementia over 5 years and finally went into a care home to be looked after by professionals. It destroyed both our lives, going from an ordinary...
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/IMG_20240509_125923.jpg?itok=KgYgpHAH)
It has taken 3 years for my husband John to be...
My partner had a brain hemorrhage and was fitted with a device to drain excess fluid from her brain.
When she started to show signs of dementia the doctors kept...
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/Roy%20%26%20Me.jpg?itok=5v14zxsy)
I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease in 2011. I...
![Dementia Action Week supporter](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_mobile/public/media/images/image/2024-05/a6f37518-ff4a-4029-9e92-7eaedef5e563-1_all_1033-portrait.jpg?itok=BR05Mtpx)
Yes my husband took ages to be diagnosed with...
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/Mark%20and%20me%20on%20my%20birthday.jpg?itok=JYwH7adp)
My husband has Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD). He...
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/IMG_0632.jpeg?itok=Q2MNH6s1)
I have a very long painful story but will keep this...
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/IMG_0183.png?itok=rSU3gkGG)
We noticed my mum becoming forgetful. My
Mum and me...
![Dementia Action Week supporter](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_lightbox_mobile/public/media/images/image/2024-05/IMG_20230908_170028944-portrait.jpg?itok=HTO6taHU)
My husband has got steadily worse since just before COVID. He lost his job due to giddy spells and then through that we eventually saw him have antidepressants. He appeared ok with simple memory tests so it was put down to anxiety loosing his job etc He was just 60 but since he has forgotten how to navigate Exeter where he was a good bus driver and he is constantly asking me questions as he forgets things instantly. I can loose him in town he looses our car . He can still drive perfectly well but I have to tell him directions all of the time. I have had to try a research centre to get answers as the GP just changed antidepressants! He has had 3 MRIs and finally someone said he had a stroke a few years ago. He hasn't a clue what month it is .He can't remember when our daughter is away. I am desperate to try and get more information as he isn't right!! It affects the whole family and is getting me down. We almost lost our house as his income was important and he had to give up temping as he kept getting lost and was too slow in his movements. People need more thorough assessments and answers for their families to plan the future. I miss my husband to talk to.
Bronwynn
My mum was diagnosed in 2017. It took me roughly 2 years though as I had to fight to get my mum seen by her GP. Eventually she had a memory test and that led to her seeing a specialist and a diagnosis of early onset dementia. She has not seen a specialist since though . She has been seen by a memory nurse several times but only because I have to seek them out for help which is very limited as my mum doesn't engage and refuses help. I don't get much help because of this and feel very frustrated at lack of help
Jacqueline
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_lightbox_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/20240518_095858_0.jpg?itok=zX5onA1V)
Hi have been involved with Alzheimer's / Dementia coming up to 20 years when I lost my mum with Vascular / Dementia that's when I started doing charity night's and a group volunteer. Still dealing with it has my brother is in a home at this moment of time so hard for his wife & family. It is very honourable in lot's of ways what you have been doing a long time for Alzheimer's / Dementia
Linda
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_lightbox_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/IMG_1974.jpeg?itok=0kT-HLiO)
Mum coped with Dad’s declining awareness for eight years at home before we finally got a diagnosis. The delay was more down to mum successfully covering up what they were both going through.
Even then she was expected to cope with paid for carers for a few hours a week to give her the tiniest bit of respite, plus whatever I could do in between working full time and caring for my own household.
It wasn’t until I managed to persuade social services to get her a week of respite that the professionals realised fully what she was enduring. In fact the first respite only managed half a day before calling us to take him home. I refused, she probably wouldn’t have done. The second home managed to keep him overnight and then they “couldn’t cope”.
Luckily, and yes luck is a big factor, we found a home that specialised in people with dementia. Dad was there for four years and in that time had several oesophageal stents to keep him able to swallow. However, eventually the medical professionals decided his poor 95 year old body had had enough and he was allowed to pass away peacefully in his sleep.
It took mum several years to regain a life for herself, but now eleven years later, at almost 96, she is still living independently.
She was so worn down living with Dad’s dementia at one time I thought she might go first.
Even then she was expected to cope with paid for carers for a few hours a week to give her the tiniest bit of respite, plus whatever I could do in between working full time and caring for my own household.
It wasn’t until I managed to persuade social services to get her a week of respite that the professionals realised fully what she was enduring. In fact the first respite only managed half a day before calling us to take him home. I refused, she probably wouldn’t have done. The second home managed to keep him overnight and then they “couldn’t cope”.
Luckily, and yes luck is a big factor, we found a home that specialised in people with dementia. Dad was there for four years and in that time had several oesophageal stents to keep him able to swallow. However, eventually the medical professionals decided his poor 95 year old body had had enough and he was allowed to pass away peacefully in his sleep.
It took mum several years to regain a life for herself, but now eleven years later, at almost 96, she is still living independently.
She was so worn down living with Dad’s dementia at one time I thought she might go first.
Susan
My wife developed dementia over 5 years and finally went into a care home to be looked after by professionals. It destroyed both our lives, going from an ordinary loving couple to me being her carer until it nearly gave me a nervous breakdown. Dementia is like no other condition. It is cruel and relentless but
Peter
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_lightbox_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/IMG_20240509_125923.jpg?itok=04M_Tl9J)
It has taken 3 years for my husband John to be diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia.From a visit to the GP in may 2021 till may of this year.In between there's been numerous appointments neuropsychological and neurophysiological testing MRI and CT scans.Lumbar puncture and a week of lumbar draining from his brain to exclude normal pressure hydrocephalus causing his symptoms.You would think a neurosurgeon would be able to refer him to the memory clinic after the lumbar draining failed to show an improvement,no ,it was back to the GP for her to refer him,so many months wasted when he could have been on rivastigmine to slow the deterioration down.He is the love of my life and it breaks my heart to see him struggle with everyday living xxxxxxJo
Jo
My partner had a brain hemorrhage and was fitted with a device to drain excess fluid from her brain.
When she started to show signs of dementia the doctors kept saying oh it's the drain not working properly. After hearing this repeatedly and taking her to have the drain checked with no improvement I asked again for her to be checked for dementia. I was agine told it's the drain. This went on for over two years. Finally she saw a locum at the GPs she asked my partner some questions then asked me a few simple questions from that she determined that my partner should be seen by an assessment centre at a local hospital. She was taken in the same evening and by next morning we had a diagnosis of frontal lobe dementia.
This shows with the right GP there is a very good service. Problem seems to be many GPs don't want to use this service.
They seem reluctant to even consider dementia as a possibility.
I know some people don't want to hear there loved one might have dementia but surely it's better to get treatment quickly, I know there is no cure but there is treatment that helps to slow the development of the dementia and also control the worse symptoms.
I still don't understand why it took so long for my partner to get that vital test.
She was clearly showing symptoms and myself and others could see it. Yet the GPs could not or would not agree to a dementia test.
When she started to show signs of dementia the doctors kept saying oh it's the drain not working properly. After hearing this repeatedly and taking her to have the drain checked with no improvement I asked again for her to be checked for dementia. I was agine told it's the drain. This went on for over two years. Finally she saw a locum at the GPs she asked my partner some questions then asked me a few simple questions from that she determined that my partner should be seen by an assessment centre at a local hospital. She was taken in the same evening and by next morning we had a diagnosis of frontal lobe dementia.
This shows with the right GP there is a very good service. Problem seems to be many GPs don't want to use this service.
They seem reluctant to even consider dementia as a possibility.
I know some people don't want to hear there loved one might have dementia but surely it's better to get treatment quickly, I know there is no cure but there is treatment that helps to slow the development of the dementia and also control the worse symptoms.
I still don't understand why it took so long for my partner to get that vital test.
She was clearly showing symptoms and myself and others could see it. Yet the GPs could not or would not agree to a dementia test.
Keith
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_lightbox_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/Roy%20%26%20Me.jpg?itok=YtNhx9FB)
I was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease in 2011. I cared for my mum and stepdad at the time and still looked after them for a few more years until they both went into a carehome together. Sadly both are no longer with me.
My nephew, who I brought up as my son from being a young lad became my carer, but sadly he died last year (2023) from lung cancer… I’ve never felt so alone since!
My nephew, who I brought up as my son from being a young lad became my carer, but sadly he died last year (2023) from lung cancer… I’ve never felt so alone since!
Daryl
![Dementia Action Week supporter](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_lightbox_mobile/public/media/images/image/2024-05/a6f37518-ff4a-4029-9e92-7eaedef5e563-1_all_1033-portrait.jpg?itok=wn6sZ8KN)
Yes my husband took ages to be diagnosed with Parkinson's.This led to Lewy body dementia Result? Looked after him till the falls etc and being nocturnal were too much
Went into a home and it took all our savings because WE HAD THEM.Most in the home had care provided but thrifty Ray had to pay
It's made me quite bitter at our system
NHS always turned him down as he wasn't ill enough.He died at 6 stone in weight with many other complications such as Stoma bag.
He was never ill enough only to them
Went into a home and it took all our savings because WE HAD THEM.Most in the home had care provided but thrifty Ray had to pay
It's made me quite bitter at our system
NHS always turned him down as he wasn't ill enough.He died at 6 stone in weight with many other complications such as Stoma bag.
He was never ill enough only to them
EVELYN
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_lightbox_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/Mark%20and%20me%20on%20my%20birthday.jpg?itok=NK1-PWz5)
My husband has Frontotemporal Dementia (FTD). He started showing symptoms at the age of 48. FTD affects the front and side of the brain (behaviour & speech) as opposed to the back of the brain (memory) in Alzheimer's, so he passed the memory test and was misdiagnosed as being 'hypomanic bipolar'. He has a big personality and a lot of energy but that wasn't the problem. As his symptoms grew worse over the following years the effects on our child and I were devasting. I had to find out what was really wrong with him and after researching all his symptoms I was sure he had FTD. He had every symptom on the FTD page of the NHS website. I went to the GP with him but was told that Mark already had a diagnosis and it wasn't up to me to question it. I asked for a referral for a scan and was refused. The GP had never heard of FTD. I kept phoning him in the following days, weeks and months explaining that my husband was like a different person now, and if he had known him before he would understand the changes in his behaviour were so drastic they had to be neurological. I was getting nowhere and was at the end of my tether. I was trying to keep all the plates spinning, keep a roof over our heads, protect our son and look after my husband. I didn't give up and after about 6 months he finally gave in and referred us. The neurologist was incredible, I cried with relief that someone finally understood. The brain scan clearly showed the atrophy caused by FTD. It should not have been that hard to get help. There were many times I felt like giving up so there must be hundreds of other misdiagnosed people out there. I was 45 and our son had just started secondary school when Mark was correctly diagnosed in 2018, six years after the symptoms began. Our whole lives had been turned upside down but once we had a diagnosis things actually started to get a bit better. I didn't feel like I was on my own anymore and we could explain to people why Mark was behaving so strangely. Mark's symptoms were so different to people's perception of the disease, but people are a lot kinder when you can explain to them that it is dementia, a cruel disease called FTD with no cure yet.
Charlotte
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_lightbox_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/IMG_0632.jpeg?itok=zRpQU95s)
I have a very long painful story but will keep this as briefly as I can. My mum had her memory test without myself or my dad being present, we had popped out and were unaware the memory nurse was attending that day. We got home to a written note that she had been. 3/4 days later we got the letter she would be attending. We then got a letter to say we had follow up appointment. Both my dad and I attended with my mum in her wheelchair as her mobility wasn’t good. We were cramped into a very narrow room and the Dr was as cold as ice. She basically said my mum had what they called mixed dementia and explained Alzheimer’s & vascular, gave us a book and that what was it. We were in the room for approx 5 mins. We all felt numb. Would you give a cancer patient a diagnosis like this I asked myself.. no they would not, so why would you treat dementia any differently as it’s the largest killer in the uk and is terminal just like some cancers can be. My mum was a human being and just like thousands of other people with dementia are treated like they do not matter. They do matter and more support needs to be given from the time of diagnosis. My dad had to go to Alzheimer’s society to get the support he needed for us and got nothing from the healthcare professionals. My mum was a much loved wife, mother, grandmother, sister& an aunty and should never have been defined by her dementia.
Pauline
![](/sites/default/files/styles/user_story_lightbox_mobile/public/webform/user_stories/IMG_0183.png?itok=lQLchwAP)
We noticed my mum becoming forgetful. My
Mum and me were main carers for my dad who was wheelchair bound and needed constant help. We didn’t think much of it until my dad started losing a dramatic amount of weight a year later and I had by then moved to the Isle of Wight with my job. It was only when I visited them before my sons wedding that my dad took me to one side saying mums moods had changed and she wouldn’t get him any food for days on end or make him a cup of tea. Unfortunately my mum was not the type of person you could ever discuss things like this with. She was brought up to be stoic and tough and buried her head in the sand.
My daughter went to visit them and she already lived on the Isle of Wight, a place we had all holidayed in our younger years and my dad was persuaded to move there with mum so we could keep an eye on them both as adult social care in Essex was hard to get.
Just before Covid we managed to move them over to the Isle of Wight (adult social care tends to be a little better due to an ageing population). During the first few months we had medical challenges with my dad and had had to secretly arrange with my mums GP an assessment to be done because mum was getting worse, mood swings, repeating everything 3 or 4 times in the space of 2 minutes. My dad was becoming unwell and sadly just after mum had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s/dementia in September dad had to be taken to hospital and kept it. This made mums head spin. She couldn’t fathom what we were saying to her. She thought we were keeping her away from him but due to Covid we weren’t allowed to visit. Dad was declining and not eating and after much begging they allowed me and my daughter to go in and feed him as he was fading away. We took an Alexa Show in with us do we could just drop in on dad and mum could speak to him. It was an awful time for mum who was getting worse. When dad went into a nursing home we thought it best to put mum in there with him for 2 weeks so they could be together ay least as again there was little visitation. Mum caused havoc in there due to her dementia. I was constantly being called by them saying she had packed their bags and was waiting for me to collect them. Sadly dad passed away but at least mum was with him. We then had to move mum in with my daughter as my marionette wasn't suitable as there was lots of stairs. Mum lived a happy life there for nearly 2 years. We had adult services visit and incontinence nurses as mum became worse. Sadly due to a fall mum had to go into hospital and then a nursing home which was supposed to cater for dementia. I had to raise safeguarding concerns when mum fell in their care and this wasn’t checked out. I felt that because she had dementia she didn’t count, but that was my mum and I wasn’t going to let it go that easily. Over the next 2 weeks she declined with a really bad neck that made her immobile. I asked for this to be looked at but was just told no it’s muscular. I decided that mum needed moving back to Essex and I would go with her which was her wishes. I found her a lovely nursing home in Stanford le hope and I would be moving nearby. Unfortunately mum declined in the nursing home on the Isle of Wight and we found her confused, this was a change overnight and once again the home said it did not need looking at and they were not allowed to call an ambulance so I called a paramedic. They again told me it was muscular and blamed her dementia but I knew something had happened due to the fall on day one of being in that home. I arranged for a private ambulance to take mum out of that home and get her moved back to the nursing home in Essex where they assessed her on admitting her and she had bed sores which was from the previous home. Mum ended up being hospitalised again after 2 weeks and after having a CT scan they found a brain haemorrhage which they said had happened recently. The only time she had fallen was in the Isle of Wight nursing home and they denied she had hit her head. Sadly after a week of mum being in hospital the doctor told me there was nothing more they could do for mum. The bed sore was so big you could fit your fist in it and mum now had sepsis due to this. I sat and watched mum over the next 10 days safe away, it was awful and I feel had mum not had dementia she would of still been with us now. I filed a complaint and we are now waiting for an inquest. I hope I can get justice for mum who did t deserve this and should of had better care considering we were paying for that care £1580 per week!
Mum and me were main carers for my dad who was wheelchair bound and needed constant help. We didn’t think much of it until my dad started losing a dramatic amount of weight a year later and I had by then moved to the Isle of Wight with my job. It was only when I visited them before my sons wedding that my dad took me to one side saying mums moods had changed and she wouldn’t get him any food for days on end or make him a cup of tea. Unfortunately my mum was not the type of person you could ever discuss things like this with. She was brought up to be stoic and tough and buried her head in the sand.
My daughter went to visit them and she already lived on the Isle of Wight, a place we had all holidayed in our younger years and my dad was persuaded to move there with mum so we could keep an eye on them both as adult social care in Essex was hard to get.
Just before Covid we managed to move them over to the Isle of Wight (adult social care tends to be a little better due to an ageing population). During the first few months we had medical challenges with my dad and had had to secretly arrange with my mums GP an assessment to be done because mum was getting worse, mood swings, repeating everything 3 or 4 times in the space of 2 minutes. My dad was becoming unwell and sadly just after mum had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s/dementia in September dad had to be taken to hospital and kept it. This made mums head spin. She couldn’t fathom what we were saying to her. She thought we were keeping her away from him but due to Covid we weren’t allowed to visit. Dad was declining and not eating and after much begging they allowed me and my daughter to go in and feed him as he was fading away. We took an Alexa Show in with us do we could just drop in on dad and mum could speak to him. It was an awful time for mum who was getting worse. When dad went into a nursing home we thought it best to put mum in there with him for 2 weeks so they could be together ay least as again there was little visitation. Mum caused havoc in there due to her dementia. I was constantly being called by them saying she had packed their bags and was waiting for me to collect them. Sadly dad passed away but at least mum was with him. We then had to move mum in with my daughter as my marionette wasn't suitable as there was lots of stairs. Mum lived a happy life there for nearly 2 years. We had adult services visit and incontinence nurses as mum became worse. Sadly due to a fall mum had to go into hospital and then a nursing home which was supposed to cater for dementia. I had to raise safeguarding concerns when mum fell in their care and this wasn’t checked out. I felt that because she had dementia she didn’t count, but that was my mum and I wasn’t going to let it go that easily. Over the next 2 weeks she declined with a really bad neck that made her immobile. I asked for this to be looked at but was just told no it’s muscular. I decided that mum needed moving back to Essex and I would go with her which was her wishes. I found her a lovely nursing home in Stanford le hope and I would be moving nearby. Unfortunately mum declined in the nursing home on the Isle of Wight and we found her confused, this was a change overnight and once again the home said it did not need looking at and they were not allowed to call an ambulance so I called a paramedic. They again told me it was muscular and blamed her dementia but I knew something had happened due to the fall on day one of being in that home. I arranged for a private ambulance to take mum out of that home and get her moved back to the nursing home in Essex where they assessed her on admitting her and she had bed sores which was from the previous home. Mum ended up being hospitalised again after 2 weeks and after having a CT scan they found a brain haemorrhage which they said had happened recently. The only time she had fallen was in the Isle of Wight nursing home and they denied she had hit her head. Sadly after a week of mum being in hospital the doctor told me there was nothing more they could do for mum. The bed sore was so big you could fit your fist in it and mum now had sepsis due to this. I sat and watched mum over the next 10 days safe away, it was awful and I feel had mum not had dementia she would of still been with us now. I filed a complaint and we are now waiting for an inquest. I hope I can get justice for mum who did t deserve this and should of had better care considering we were paying for that care £1580 per week!
Julie
Share your diagnosis story
Help bring dementia out from behind closed doors and tell us, what is your reality of dementia?