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Help bring dementia out from behind closed doors and tell us, what is your reality of dementia?
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I am a 69 tears old man living in Plymouth. Both my Mum and my Dad died from Alzheimer's. My Mum was in a Care Home in Wokingham Berkshire, I loved her very much. ...
It took two years before I got my diagnosis I was...
My husband Bob was diagnosed at the end of February...
I am a full time carer, for my husband who has vascular dementia. We are over 5 years into our journey. The saddest part is not having anything to look forward to...
My sister has just recently passed away with young...
My mum died in June this year from Alzheimer’s....
My family has been decimated by Alzheimers & dementia! As a child I helped my mother care for her mother who we lost slowly over 12year period. My mum is now in a home...
My takeaways from 12 Years as a Carer
Twelve years...
Dementia is a devastating disease lm wendy my mum has alzhimars was diagnosed 2017 but l senced before that date the disease takes away dignity and is awful to watch...
My wife was diagnosed with late onset dementia 6...
My husband was officially diagnosed with Vascular...
I look after my Partner who has Alzheimer's. I havebeen lucky in many ways, he referred himself to the GP suspecting his memory was poor. It took about 2years for him...
I am a 69 tears old man living in Plymouth. Both my Mum and my Dad died from Alzheimer's. My Mum was in a Care Home in Wokingham Berkshire, I loved her very much. And my Dad also had Alzheimer's. It is a terrible illness, and I wish there there was a cure..
Neville
It took two years before I got my diagnosis I was told your too young it’s not dementia and this is from neurological consultant but after a pet scan he said you have Lewy bodies dementia with Parkinson I was 48 when I got told that the hardest thing is society I can talk to somebody have a really good conversation then I say excuse me I might not remember your name as I have young onset dementia they will stop talking to me and start talking to my wife or you don’t look like you have dementia. There’s a couple of things they don’t tell you I lost my empathy I can’t show my family love or compassion also the moment the consultant started to call my wife my career it put a wedge in our marriage this illness is hard at any age but we shouldn’t be made to feel that we have to hide away I vowed back in 2018 that I will help people fight the stigma I live my life to the max know six years into my diagnosis and I will keep fighting
Paul
My husband Bob was diagnosed at the end of February 2024. We first referred him to the GP in 2021. He told us there was nothing wrong. We had him tested again in late 2023 and again the GP said there was nothing wrong. He was only referred to the Memory Clinic when we made a big fuss and offended the GP. Early diagnosis is not possible if GPs refuse to take family concerns seriously.
Pam
I am a full time carer, for my husband who has vascular dementia. We are over 5 years into our journey. The saddest part is not having anything to look forward to together. No trips out, no visits to family and friends, no holidays. My husband is not mobile so I can't even get him into the car to take him for a drive. John has carers 3 times a day, so even our home isn't our own. It is sad, that after working all our lives, we can't enjoy our golden years. Instead of being a wife, I am a carer and spend my life doing laundry as my husband is doubly incontinent.
Susan
My sister has just recently passed away with young onset alzheimers she was 62 she suffered for the last seven years with it, our hearts are broken, even though you know its going to happen eventually nothing can prepare you for it, I don't think there is enough emphasis on young onset dementia even in the care home where she was for the last two years of her life most patients were older than her, this is the most devastating disease that any family can go through & I wouldn't wish it on anyone, please please bring more awareness to this disease & provide more support for younger suffers.
Elaine
My mum died in June this year from Alzheimer’s. It’s hard to put into a few words how in last few years we as a family have had to watch as this cruel disease rapidly took away the person we knew and loved. She was confused, paranoid at times and her speech was greatly effected. My Dad in his 80s did a brilliant job looking after her , which was a struggle but she remained at home until her balance became unsteady, resulting in a fall and a broken hip. She never really recovered and had to go into a home as she could no longer stand or feed herself. She developed issues swallowing and was put on end of life care ( a final cruel blow). A harrowing week followed as she refused to give in and all we could do was watch and wait for her to go, no one wants to loose a loved one like this but no one wants to see them suffer either. My mum was clever, spirited. and loving she didn’t deserve this. I now know what a terrible disease this is and although it’s not the same without her I am glad my mum is free now on the other side. I want to help bring attention to this horrible disease so we can find a cure and stop people having to go through this as my mum did x
Karen
My family has been decimated by Alzheimers & dementia! As a child I helped my mother care for her mother who we lost slowly over 12year period. My mum is now in a home and no longer recognises me. We lost her eldest brother to Alzheimers, the next brother us in a home with this insidious disease. Her younger sister was diagnosed a year ago and currently still being cared for at home. Only one sibling the baby has escaped this curse so far. It has changed my life, my plans. I recon I have about 15 20 years if I’m lucky before it gets me too! So all I can do is support research in hope that my daughters and grandchildren are spared the pain of losing amazing loved ones a piece at a time. They were all really clever, caring people, who gave so much and finish their lives scared, in nappies, all dignity gone, wasting away. Trapped in a body with its CPU breaking down and no reboot in sight! We need investment if we are to find solutions. I’ve already agreed to book a one way ticket if/when I’m diagnosed. Care for my relatives has been shocking poor! I would not wish this on anyone!
Bridgett
My takeaways from 12 Years as a Carer
Twelve years ago, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and I became her sole carer. I have no siblings and no support network. It was overwhelming—managing her appointments, mood swings, and watching her decline. The isolation was intense. She lived with us throughout her journey with the exception of the last three years, when she moved into a care home and in another country. A difficult decision, a difficult time that brought many tears, doubt and essentially a lot of guilt.
I found support by connecting with others who understood what I was going through, who were going through similar experiences and could share some words of support and guidance. This network became my lifeline. We shared our worries, bad days, and celebrated small victories. Having a space to express my fears without judgment reminded me that it was okay to ask for help, with no judgement.
One of the most important lessons I learned was to look after myself. At first, it felt selfish, but I realised my wellbeing was crucial for my ability to care for her and my family. Taking time alone, whether a walk or reading, allowed me to recharge and face each day with more patience. When my mother was in the care home, I finally allowed myself to let go of the guilt of leaving her 'behind' and trust the professionals. It also meant I could focus on my young daughter again and my steadfast husband who kept by my side.
No one prepares us for being a carer and no one prepares us for being a carer whilst also looking after a young family.
To all carers out there, know you’re not alone. Building a support network makes the journey easier, and taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Caring for someone can’t mean neglecting your own wellbeing. It’s about finding strength through connection, with other who understand what you're going through and self-care, to ensure you can provide the love and support your loved one deserves.
Finding support in organisations such as Alzheimer's Society, or going to a dementia friendly cafe to look for a few hours of respite and support, are a lifeline. Use them.
Twelve years ago, my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, and I became her sole carer. I have no siblings and no support network. It was overwhelming—managing her appointments, mood swings, and watching her decline. The isolation was intense. She lived with us throughout her journey with the exception of the last three years, when she moved into a care home and in another country. A difficult decision, a difficult time that brought many tears, doubt and essentially a lot of guilt.
I found support by connecting with others who understood what I was going through, who were going through similar experiences and could share some words of support and guidance. This network became my lifeline. We shared our worries, bad days, and celebrated small victories. Having a space to express my fears without judgment reminded me that it was okay to ask for help, with no judgement.
One of the most important lessons I learned was to look after myself. At first, it felt selfish, but I realised my wellbeing was crucial for my ability to care for her and my family. Taking time alone, whether a walk or reading, allowed me to recharge and face each day with more patience. When my mother was in the care home, I finally allowed myself to let go of the guilt of leaving her 'behind' and trust the professionals. It also meant I could focus on my young daughter again and my steadfast husband who kept by my side.
No one prepares us for being a carer and no one prepares us for being a carer whilst also looking after a young family.
To all carers out there, know you’re not alone. Building a support network makes the journey easier, and taking time for yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary. Caring for someone can’t mean neglecting your own wellbeing. It’s about finding strength through connection, with other who understand what you're going through and self-care, to ensure you can provide the love and support your loved one deserves.
Finding support in organisations such as Alzheimer's Society, or going to a dementia friendly cafe to look for a few hours of respite and support, are a lifeline. Use them.
Susana
Dementia is a devastating disease lm wendy my mum has alzhimars was diagnosed 2017 but l senced before that date the disease takes away dignity and is awful to watch we pay full costs due to having sell my mums property it has affected me with so much worry and stress but you still got carry on to be strong my heart goes to all the family's that suffer watching there loved ones turn in to somebody you don't no so very sad
Wendy
My wife was diagnosed with late onset dementia 6 years ago. I looked after until last November when she went into a nursing home. She died 7 weeks later. Our youngest son and the granddaughters 7 & 10 have been badly affected. I wish the government would be very clear on what you are entitled to claim, you only find out by word of mouth.
Bruce
My husband was officially diagnosed with Vascular dementia August 2021. He also had Cerebal amyloid angiopathy which started over 7 years ago. It was a privilege to be able to look after him through the different stages, to support him through the times of him being scared, frustrated, keeping him positive, to look at the blessings we had in life, good friends, family. Some friends couldn’t cope with the difference so they stopped visiting. Which was hard as the past two years especially were very isolating. Apart from one day at Day Centre I was his carer 24/7. We were able to get CHC from last August which meant the respite was fully paid for, I was running on empty by then so was desperate for the break. My husband had began to get aggressive at times so had to try and calm him down and give him lots of reassurance, There’s a lot of fear and frustration that your loved ones go through. So just sit and hold their hand, let them snuggle into you. It’s like having a child a lot of the time, we were allocated more days at day centre and 14 hrs care at home. I was fortunate that he still was able to use the toilet. There were times when we laughed, danced, and he loved to chase our granddaughter round the house (though he was struggling to walk, and had a few broken bones due to falling) it wasn’t all doom and gloom, He would preach, pray ( I was able to make out what he said so clearly at these times, though at other times he just spoke his dementia language). I realised that though his body was failing, his spirit man was very much alive. Unfortunately he went for respite and due to dehydration caused by him being given sippy cups with lids, even though the carers were told he couldn’t drink out of them so needed a proper cup, also his food level wasn’t followed, he also had gastro enteritis at the home the day I collected him and he ended up in hospital the day after I collected him and passed away a few days later. I would encourage folks to make sure your loved one is given the proper care, Make sure if you give the care homes instructions, make sure they follow your requests. Also if you’ve experienced what we did then don’t just pass it off, make sure it’s fully looked into, otherwise, another family may go through the same trauma. Dementia is a journey, we do lose so much of the person in little bursts. It’s ok to laugh! It’s a lifeline. Wired were amazing as were Help the aged, dementia together and Alzheimer’s emails which showed us that we aren’t alone, there is help and support. I miss the cheekiness and the tantrums, the laughter and most of all my other half of over 52 years. The circle of life continues so we have to live for them… 💕❤️
Janis
I look after my Partner who has Alzheimer's. I havebeen lucky in many ways, he referred himself to the GP suspecting his memory was poor. It took about 2years for him to be diagnosed. His mother had Alzheimer's, he looked after her at home with the carers and day care. His business partner had vascular dementia and was in a care home until he died. Then his sister developed Parkinson's and dementia, her husband looked after her but it was very difficult with mood wings and aggression. She died 1 year ago. I am on my own looking after Frank, his brother in law calls at the house regularly. Things are getting more difficult he forgets if he has had a meal and looses items all the time. He keeps asking "what are we doing today" and seems to like to go out a lot more. When we get there, he's asking to come home. The repeated questions do get me down. I sometimes do not feel like going out but I think he need a change of scenery.
I don't live with him but not far away. I go to his house in the morning give him a main meal and leave about 3pm. I am trying to keep my own hobbies going for as long as I can. In the mornings he needs quite a lot of attention, giving him his medication and breakfast and tidying up after him. Doing his washing. Frank has a large garden and likes to go out and potter. I feel pleased that he has a small hobby and I would not like to take that away from him while he still enjoys it. He is getting very unsteady walking but appart from a walking stick I can't persuade him to have any other aids.
I don't live with him but not far away. I go to his house in the morning give him a main meal and leave about 3pm. I am trying to keep my own hobbies going for as long as I can. In the mornings he needs quite a lot of attention, giving him his medication and breakfast and tidying up after him. Doing his washing. Frank has a large garden and likes to go out and potter. I feel pleased that he has a small hobby and I would not like to take that away from him while he still enjoys it. He is getting very unsteady walking but appart from a walking stick I can't persuade him to have any other aids.
Hazel
Share your story
Help bring dementia out from behind closed doors and tell us, what is your reality of dementia?