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Mum lived with me for 10 yrs, died aged 90 with Alzheimer's. She was a wonderful woman and mum and although classed as disabled she had a good life. We were so close, friends that went out and about and had fun. She was diagnosed, eventually, as COVID came to an end. She was ok, knew she was confused but she accepted it. End of July 2021 she went to bed and the next morning my mum was gone. In its place was a horrible, spiteful, vicious woman. I coped, sort of, with help from my amazing GP, carers association and two carers who came in 3 times daily. We had to let mum go to a home in Huntingdon where she lasted for 6 days. The impact on my life has been devastating. I suffered with anxiety and stress and am still under the dr. I've had 15+ weeks of talking therapy, amazing, but because I can't eat properly and haven't for the last 4 years I'm trying desperately to get help. It's a cruel and devastating illness and people who haven't dealt with this just don't understand. Her grandchildren dreaded coming to see her so it was me and my brother, who also moved in with me, and it exhausted and broke us both. We celebrate her life on the 18th of this month and I so miss my mum and friend. I spent all my savings buying equipment and personal goods to make her life better and had to survive on carers allowance. I even had to pay for pull ups as I was told she didn't qualify for free ones. Bedridden and almost always asleep in her last few months of life and incontinent but she didn't qualify! I got in debt and had to sell my house and move. She was my mum and it was my duty to look after her and I would do it again but it's almost killed me and my poor brother is having to now look after me and try to get me to eat. I'm 70 in January and I want my life back before it's too late.
2/3 weeks before mum died I was holding her hand when she opened her eyes and asked me if she was dying. I looked into her eyes and it was my mum again. I was honest, said yes mum but it's your time now, she had seen my late gran, uncle and dad several times. She smiled at me, squeezed my hand and closed her eyes. I will always hold that memory in my heart, it was my old mum back and she was thanking me. I have told all my family that NO ONE is to take me in if I become ill. I can't put any of them through what my brother and I went through. We loved mum but it was soul destroying. I have so much empathy with everyone caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's, my heart goes out to you. My advise, please get all the help you can for your loved one but remember you will need help and support too.

I look after my husband along side my family,he has FTD,he was diagnosed roughly 7 years ago,but symptoms started long before that,now unable to walk, talk wash or dress himself needs help with eating and is doubley incontinent,I myself lucky enough to have worked 25 years in care with dementia patients so I have a lot of experience which I have been able to teach my family,we interact with him on a daily basis gives him books to read,plays music from his era,which he loves to sing along too, music is a great simulation for people with dementia,never forget they may not be the person they were but they have feelings and emotions and deserve to be treated with love and dignity

Mum was doing really well at 96 until a Small Stroke left her with Vascular Dementia. She seemed to be doing really well as she also lost the sight in one eye - changes were difficult to notice, but in hindsight, it was toileting that created the greatest risk for her. The whole situation was made impossibly difficult by the COVID situation and unfortunately she spent the final 9 months of her life in a care home. She was stopped from walking, forced to remain on a bed for much of the time, and stopped from being taken to the toilet. Not the kind of End of Life deserving of someone who served her Country in World War II. Social Care and Health Care for our Elderly is not currently Fit for Purpose! Social and Health Care must radically change !!!

The biggest shock from my husband being diagnosed with dementia was that there was no medical follow up - you are just left to get on with it. The best thing about living with dementia is the kindness of many random people who patiently listen to my husband’s rambling joke and offer support in other ways.
I would like the government to recognise that some dementia carers live like slaves - working 24/7 with no days off looking after relatives who do not even recognise them and can be nasty and aggressive. My husband is lovely and easy going but if we could not afford to pay for a carer for a few hours twice a week ( going rate £20 upwards an hour) I could not keep my patience with his repetitive behaviour and inability to understand what I am saying to him.
My heart goes out to carers who lose their livelihoods, social lives and sometimes their homes to become enslaved as carers - this is happening behind closed doors.