Real stories
Taking each day as it comes in a relationship after a dementia diagnosis
Ananga and Jo Moonesinghe discuss all things life, from how they met and getting married, to their experience with Ananga's Alzheimer's disease diagnosis and the couple's hopes for the future.
Ananga and Jo Moonesinghe live in Luton. Anaga is 76, Jo is 67. They have been married for 48 years and have two children and five grandchildren. Ananga was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in August 2019.
Looking back at our life
Ananga says: I was born in Dehiwela (Colombo), Sri Lanka. I came to live in England when I was 10 years old. I had to go to a local school. I didn't speak English then.
I married an English lady, Joanna, from Lancashire. We brought up our children to have a mix of cultures and be aware of their heritage.
Jo says:
I was 17 years old when we met. Ananga was in the services and was very handsome in his uniform.
when Ananga and I got together lots of people didn’t think that mixed marriages would work.
Living with dementia
Ananga says: I love to cook Sri Lankan food, but my wife won’t allow me to cook on my own as I leave the gas on. We sometimes cook together, and she can cook Sri Lankan favourites like fresh string hoppers and sweets made from potato.
I have problems finding words - I stutter - this is worse with stress. My speech has slightly deteriorated since lockdown, because I have not been able to talk to as many people as I would normally. My wife helps me. With patience, I am still happy to speak to other people.
My family give the best support and take care of my needs.
We have had problems with the GP - lack of support and information. Without help of Alzheimer's Society we would have been so lost around diagnosis, support afterwards, and getting through the lockdown too.
Finding vital dementia support
Jo says: Both Ananga and I were in denial at the start.
But, we promised each other we would take each day as it comes.
Alzheimer’s Society has given us so much. We would do anything to repay the help they have given us.
At the beginning, Alzheimer’s Society sent us lots of information. To be honest, it was too much to take in at the start, but I do appreciate it.
Then, they referred us to peer support groups and a dementia café locally.
Alzheimer’s Society Dementia Support Worker, Cathy was wonderful for us. She got us a review from a speech and language therapist who came to help us.
Alzheimer’s Society is a godsend. We don’t get any of that extra information from doctors or psychiatrists.
Changing perceptions on dementia
Ananga says: Since my dementia diagnosis I have done a talk for people at the shopping mall to help them be more dementia aware.
I was a union rep which involved talking to people, especially politicians; they talk a lot and discard the concerns but if it’s related to their interest or their remit, they tend to listen.
There is a lot of publicity about other diseases like cancer but nothing about dementia. I would like to talk to politicians to educate them about dementia.
I worked on the railways and still have good friends in the Luton and Thameslink area from doing that - and some would like to help the railway service be more dementia-friendly. I'd like to introduce Alzheimer's Society to them to enable that to happen.
Donate to Alzheimer's Society
We vow to help end the devastation caused by dementia for people like Ananga and Jo. But we can’t do it without you. Please donate today.
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