Dementia Support Line
Real stories
'Nowhere to go' - my mum had dementia and was denied a British passport
Veronica Tobias was born in the Caribbean but had lived in the UK for decades. Despite having a diagnosis of vascular dementia and a hurricane destroying the country of her birth, the government still wanted to deport her. Her daughter Jennifer tells an astonishing story.
My mother Veronica is 81. She grew up in the Commonwealth of Dominica, and moved to Paddington, London when she was 21.
In 1982, after a lifetime in the UK, my parents returned to Dominica to take care of my father’s parents.
In 2016 – four years after my father passed away – I got a call at work, notifying me of concerns relating to my mother’s memory. By January of the next year, she’d been diagnosed with vascular dementia.
It began 18 months of uncertainty, horror and fear.
The right to remain
I flew to Dominica and returned to the UK with my mother so she could spend time with me. During her stay her passport expired. I applied for her replacement British passport, but was notified by the Home Office that she was not entitled to a British passport and her stay in the UK would be of a limited period.
My mother unfortunately joined the thousands of other individuals who fell victim to the Windrush Scandal.
While I was busy addressing my mother's care, it was confirmed that she didn't have a right to a British passport. This automatically affected her right to remain in the UK.
Dominica was then traumatised by the worst hurricane to hit the island. This resulted in considerable damage to my mother’s home. So the option of her returning to Dominica at some point had been taken from her as well.
She had nowhere to go – but she, a 79-year-old woman with dementia - was being told that she couldn’t stay with me, either.
Hitting the headlines
Finally, in 2018, the Windrush scandal hit the headlines, and the Home Office backed down. My mother received her British passport along with her right to remain in the UK.
When I was going through all of this, and looking after Mum at the same time, I remained afraid to share the extreme pressure l was going through.
I rang the Alzheimer’s Society in Hackney, and I cried and talked and cried and talked. And they never judged me. They never told me what I should do. They listened.
And that is what I really needed. They let me talk.
People with dementia need to be treated like human beings. It hurts me when people do things like talking to me instead of to my Mum.
Veronica moved to London when she was 21
Joy and wisdom
My mother is a unique individual and a remarkable human being.
She does more exercise than I do. She is at classes three times a week and goes to Singing for the Brain! She can even do Zumba.
My mother’s respect and deep affection for her environment, continues to energize her. She can identify all the birds around Dominica. Even now, she finds it hard to pass a flower without smelling it.
My mother provides me with a deep seated wisdom, that l respect and am truly appreciative of. She has given me a wealth of joy, and she still gives me joy.
Maxine
saysSo grateful that you are able to share your experience with us. Although a difficult time you have shown resilience and strength.
I'm pleased you were able to contact Alzhiemers for support. I did the same and cried during an Annual General meeting which I really , I mean really needed!
My mum was diagnosed in 2003 and having lived overseas for 20 years i returned home in 2004 as a daughter but quickly became her carer. Dad had survived several strokes so an incredibly difficult time as 2 of my girls were also adjusting to the school system. I had to be strong for everyone around me. Both my parents passed away within 5 months of each other but i have to say returning to support.them was the best thing. So proud of you..make every day count and remain a blessing. You are never alone.
MRS E M HEWISON
saysuntil we have a government which is concerned for the under privileged, the disabled, the poor, the homeless, and all those people who cannot ifght for their rights , things will contnue to get worse for the majority in this country.
Jimmy Heath
saysIt is a disgrace people work all of their lives to end up with dementia my wife has vascular 81 years old she’s in home their is no way I can look after her she been in home for 3years and has never spoken to me and I go in to give her a dinner every day it’s a hell of live the house is paid for but no doubt the government will have that mr Heath
Gareth Edwards
saysNow the same said tory government would like to deny people who have no photo ID a vote - circa 11 million people.
Khatt Lambert
saysI am so sad to read about this lovely lady whose health deteriorated rather quickly..I understand perfectly regarding the lack of compassion from health professionals..my parents were both afflicted, my mother with Alzheimers and my father with vascular dementia..it is truly horrifying to have a parent like that but two??..at the same time?..our family was devastated with those diagnoses, however, we managed to adjust to looking after them both, in their own home for as long as we could..that was hard enough..i cannot begin to understand how this lady and her daughter coped with the problems forced upon them by our government..however, I feel that, all things considered, they both came through the tough times and all the endless times awaiting for our government to make things right for her mother..you have my sincere wishes and support, for a happier and less stressed future..
Jo wood
saysTo treat your mum that way really makes me both sad and angry! Veronica deserved her passport and right to remain with her family. “Shame” on our government for treating a person like that. People don’t ask for this condition, show understanding as it could happen to anyone... my mum has it and it breaks my heart seeing her so confused and unaware when at one point in her life she worked in pathology, now her mind which was her greatest asset is now her worst enemy.
Mr Juvenal J Martins
saysIt is so sad to read this negative histories.
Deb Sargent
saysMy mom was dx with vascular dementia but was 98. Unfortunately she also had uneven potassium levels that complicated matters. She lived with me until last week when she passed. Vermont home health was involved and did an incredible job. They helped her and spoke with her and helped me. Her doctor talked with her/to her. I told her she had vascular dementia and explained that parts of her brain worked and parts didn’t because of heart disease. We had issues getting long term care active and if she hadn’t passed it wasn’t looking great.