Real stories

“Don’t stick your head in the sand if you think there is something not right”

Jane knew something was very wrong when her husband Graham appeared at her bedside with a bunch of flowers, thinking it was her birthday. But it wasn’t.

After more than 30 years of marriage, the couple, and their two children, would be about to go down a lengthy and difficult road of getting an Alzheimer's disease diagnosis.

Graham’s symptoms began in 2018 when he would come home from work as a driving instructor exhausted and suffering from headaches.

Getting a dementia diagnosis

He then faced a long road to receiving a diagnosis - with doctors at various times putting his symptoms down to minor driving collisions, migraines, depression and, eventually, Alzheimer’s.

“There was the anxiousness of worrying what was wrong with him,” says Jane. “He didn't think anything was wrong. Graham just progressively got worse. And that was kind of frightening to watch but have no control over.

“For people that go down this awful journey, I just hope we can make it easier for them to find support and guidance.”

Graham’s condition progressed rapidly following his diagnosis, often losing his glasses and keys, forgetting important dates and no longer being able to read the time.

“Everything was changing,” says Jane. “We were slowly just watching him slip away, piece by piece, but powerless to do anything or understand what was going on.”

Graham moved into a care home in July 2024. 

“The dementia has really taken hold of him. He’s in a world that I can’t enter, really. He’s checked out and is not the Graham of five or six years ago.

“For 35 years he has not left my side, and suddenly he’s gone. I’m finding this stage the hardest.”

Jane is receiving counselling, as the experience has taken a huge toll. And Graham can no longer hold a conversation.

Jane says: “Even me, years ago, I thought dementia was just when you forget where your glasses are. But every case is different and it’s about educating people.

“Don’t stick your head in the sand if you think there is something not right. Get help, quickly, because otherwise it’s too late and you could lose valuable time.”

Watch Graham and Jane's dementia story