Dementia Support Line
Advice
5 things to do and say when a person is diagnosed with dementia
Wendy Mitchell was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease four years ago. Here, she shares five ways you can support people with dementia after a diagnosis.
There are simple things we can all do to improve the lives of people living with dementia. Whether you care for a friend or family member, or know someone who was recently diagnosed, we can all play our part in building a dementia friendly society.
Wendy Mitchell, 62, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease four years ago. Her book, 'Somebody I Used to Know' tells her story of living with the condition
To mark Dementia Action Week, Wendy gives her top tips on how best to support someone living with dementia.
Wendy Mitchell's 5 tips for supporting somebody after a dementia diagnosis
1) Don’t automatically do things for me
If a person with dementia is struggling to do something, naturally a lot of people jump to just doing it for them, which can be really frustrating. For the kindest of reasons and wherever possible, please help me to do something myself or try to find a new way.
2) Don’t think of diagnosis of dementia as the end
Life with dementia will always be different but that doesn’t mean it will all be bad. It can still be filled with laughter and adventures, it is more just about adapting. Keeping a positive attitude is really important.
3) Remember I still have talents
For me, I’m living with dementia not ‘suffering’. Every person diagnosed will have had interests and talents beforehand and these aren’t just lost overnight. Whether they loved writing, drawing or sports, encourage them to keep this up in someway.
4) Take each day as it comes
Naturally, when someone you know has dementia, it can make you worry about the future. It is really important though to not dwell on this too much and focus more on each day as it comes. There will be bad days but tomorrow may be better.
5) Remember, I’m still a person with feelings
Often, if someone has dementia , people can start to exclude them from a conversation or where they are included questions or remarks can sometimes be insensitive. After a diagnosis, we still like to be included in and contribute to conversations and treated with respect.
National Dementia Helpline
Looking for information, support or advice about dementia? Call our helpline on 0300 222 11 22.
Kathleen Hughes
saysMy sister is poorly with alzheimer's 3 yts ago and the last 6week she has gone a lot worst her HUSDAND IS getting to the stage he is shrugging to manage her where would he go from here
Diane Perkins
saysThis is going to help
Me a lot
Patricia Adamache
saysI'm home in Liverpool on a visit from Australia. I hadn't seen my sister for nearly 2 years. The last time I saw her she was worried about her memory but had some memory tests and told she was OK. Now she seems extremely confused and scared. She doesn't remember things I told her a few minutes ago. Her husband is unsupportive and belittles her in company and I guess in private. I'm her for about two more weeks. How can I help?
Anonymous
saysHi Patricia,
This sounds like a difficult situation - we're sorry to hear about this.
If you're worried about your sister's memory, you should encourage her to see her GP. It might be helpful for the GP to refer her for a follow-up assessment to find out for certain the cause of the problems. Take a look at further information on how to go about this: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/how…
Also, while you're in the UK, we'd recommend speaking with one of our expert dementia advisers by calling our Helpline. They can talk with you in confidence about your concerns and suggest ways to offer help: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/national-dementia-helpline
Wishing you the best of luck, Patricia.
-
Alzheimer's Society blog team
Sandra raybould
saysMy mum who is 93 has vascular dementia and speech is very limited I'm worried that she will loose speach altogether
Jim White
saysMy wife Sandra was diagnosed In 2015. She is 62. Thank you for the steps. We treat each day as a gift basket and we fill it with new adventures of gratitude.
Jim White
Ellen Brunning
saysMy mum had vascular dementia she was diagnosed in 2015 , I’ve just got back home as I now have to put her to bed every night , she was actually getting re dressed when I got there , she had also been packing again tonight, I’m currently waiting for social services to come & assess my mum , I have also been in contact with Alzheimer’s support line sent me lots of information and also are very supportive to speak to .?
Amanda
saysReally helpful
Advice and I have just finished Wendy’s book which is fabulous thank you for sharing your amazing journey giving me positive encouragement for my mum whom has recently been diagnosed x
Angela cook
saysMy story of dementia started in 2013, when I noticed changes in my sisters speech and concentration. Over the coming months her state of mind rapidly changed. Going from paranoia to delusional, unable to recognise money. Her mobility declined, stumbling and falling over. All these things happened with no diagnosis from the GP. Even though she had been tested. The changes in her were rapid. My sister passed away in 2015 aged 60. Final diagnosis was corticobasel degeneration.
But now my mum bless her aged 93 has althzimers, cared for in a dementia care home. Life is a cruel thing .
Susan
saysI’m having difficulty trying to work my way around talking point. I called the Alzheimer’s number but it was engaged, I didn’t leave a message as I don’t want to tell my husband yet. I was told yesterday by my GP that I am borderline, I’m now awaiting blood tests and a scan. I am struggling with everything I’m trying to do like cooking meals, housework etc. I work from home part time in my husbands business but only when I’m up to it. My husband hasn’t suspected Alzheimer’s as I’m in a lot of back pain so he thinks my symptoms are due to that. My head seems in a constant fog, no motivation and finding it more difficult to mix with others. I forget names of people I know but not family and forget words and recent conversations. I find myself just sitting on the couch for hours, in the past I have always been so busy and never sat down I’m 63 and desperately scared of the future.
Alzheimer's Society
saysSorry to hear you are feeling this way, Susan.
It sounds as though you've been having a difficult time and it is not surprising you are feeling the way you do.
What you are experiencing may be a mixture of shock and fear for the future.
At the helpline we are in contact with people experiencing memory problems and through all stages of dementia. Although it can be a challenging disease it is possible, with the right support, to live well with dementia.
I would encourage you to try calling the helpline again (0300 222 1122) so we can explore the situation more fully.
Kind regards,
The helpline team
Raymond V Reed
saysMy angel, my wife has a memory problem and to compound the problem, she has a hearing problem. Hearing loss is a great isolator and people often talk directly to me as soon as they realise this. Even with hearing aids my wife struggles to communicate effectively. I can normally pick up when my wife is having difficulty following the conversation and will repeat the statement being discussed.
I read your messages with interest but would make two simple requests of you. Firstly, can you include some items where a person living with memory issues has other problems and secondly, I would love to see a regular feature on research into cures and the progress being made.
Many thanks and keep up the excellent work
Alzheimer's Society
saysHi Raymond,
Thanks for your comment and feedback, it's really useful to hear.
There's some information on our website related to people with memory issues as well as sight and hearing loss. You might find this page helpful: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/sig…
Having said that we're really keen to have more advice, information and stories to support people in your situation. If you'd like to share your own story it could be helpful for others, but obviously not to worry if you'd rather not! Here's some information on how to submit a story if that interests you: https://blog.alzheimers.org.uk/your-story/
Finally, for updates on research you can view our latest research blogs here: https://blog.alzheimers.org.uk/category/research/
There's also the research section on our main website where you can read about current research projects, learn how you can take part in research, or subscribe to our free research magazine, Care and Cure. You can see all of that here: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/research
Thanks again, and hope this is useful,
^Kyle
Agnes Pringle
saysMy Sister has been diagnosed with early on set Alzheimer's at the age of 60 years l am anxious to find out how to cope with it please !!
Alzheimer's Society
saysHi Agnes - sorry to hear about your sister's diagnosis, but please know we are here for you both.
You might want to call our helpline to get tailored advice and learn about the different types of support available: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/info/20012/helpline
If you’re based in England, Wales or Northern Ireland, you could also use our service finder to find support in your local area: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/find-support-near-you
Some people affected by dementia find it helpful to talk with others in similar situations in on our online community, Talking Point. You can read their experiences, share your own or ask a question here: https://forum.alzheimers.org.uk/
Finally, we’ve got lots of advice and information available on our website. Here's an article that you may find helpful: https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/help-dementia-care/understand…
If you have a specific question or need, let us know and we can try and point you in the right direction.
Hope this is useful,
^Kyle
Elaine
saysMy husband has early onset.ftd.since 2009. It is now a way of life..we cope. Where do you live. I am very much in touch with young dementia uk. Check it out. They have videos of people on their.
Neil
saysVery helpful. Thank you
Phil
saysThankyou this is very helpful