LGBTQ+: Living with dementia

The term ‘LGBTQ+’ is widely used and can mean different things. In these pages it refers to people with a range of different identities, including:

• Lesbian – a woman who has an emotional, romantic or sexual orientation (attraction) towards women.
• Gay – a man who has an emotional, romantic or sexual orientation (attraction) towards men.
• Bisexual – a person who has an emotional, romantic or sexual orientation (attraction) towards men and women.
• Trans – someone who doesn’t identify with their assigned gender at birth, or who sees themselves as between, beyond or outside of the two standard categories of male and female.
• Queer – a term that some people use to describe their sexual orientation or gender identity. This can include, but is not limited to, lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people.

We also use the following terms:

• Heterosexual – a person who has an emotional, romantic or sexual orientation (attraction) towards people of the opposite sex.
• Cisgender – a person whose gender identity is the same as the sex they were assigned at birth.

The plus sign at the end of LGBTQ+ is to show that different people define themselves differently. Some people do not identify with any of the terms above. For example, some people identify as intersex, asexual or non-binary. We include these and other groups when we use the term LGBTQ+.

It is illegal for someone to be treated differently or be discriminated against because of their sexual orientation or gender identity.

This applies to areas like health and social care, meaning all service providers including GP surgeries and hospitals must treat you equally. In England and Wales, this law is called the Equality Act 2010.

In Northern Ireland, it is a combination of the Equality Act (Sexual Orientation) Regulations (Northern Ireland) 2006 and the Sex Discrimination (NI) Order 1976.

These laws also apply to the people close to you. It can reassure you to know that they cannot be discriminated against in relation to things like visiting rights, should you need to go into a care home or hospital.

If you are trans and choose not to disclose this, then organisations are not allowed to tell people about this under General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR).

This is because, like sexual orientation, a trans status is classed as sensitive personal data. If you have or have applied for a Gender Recognition Certificate and choose not to disclose that you are trans, then your right to privacy is also protected by the Gender Recognition Act 2004.

This applies throughout the UK. It means that someone providing care or medical services to you – for example, a doctor or care worker – cannot tell other people about your trans status without your permission. If they do, they can face criminal prosecution.

You may want to get a Gender Recognition Certificate. This legally recognises the gender you identify as, if you meet certain criteria, and gives you the legal right to be treated as a person of that gender.

It’s important to remember that you don’t need to have a Gender Recognition Certificate to have your gender identity respected by others. You also don’t need to have a Gender Recognition Certificate to be legally protected from discrimination.

It can be helpful to know that the term ‘next of kin’ has very little meaning in law. People often think it has to be a blood relative or a husband or wife, but this is not true. If a hospital or care home asks for details of next of kin to be contacted in an emergency, you can choose whoever you want.

You don’t have to be married to them – they can be a partner of any gender, a friend, or someone else you want to be contacted.

Those closest to you have the right to be consulted about your treatment and care. They don’t have to be blood relations or married partners. For example, if you are in a same-sex relationship and not married, this would apply to your partner.

Equality doesn’t necessarily mean being treated ‘the same as everyone else’. Equality means that you have the right to be who you are and express your sexual orientation, gender identity and relationships, just like anyone else.

You shouldn’t feel you have to pretend to have a different sexual orientation or gender identity in order to get the care and support you need.

Everyone should be treated and respected as an individual and encouraged to express their identity. People shouldn’t assume that your gender identity or sexual orientation is not important to you, or that it doesn’t make a difference to the care and support you need. Friends, family and professionals should support you to be the way you are.